As I calmly waited for the promised call which once again did not ever come, into my life walks a new person who I happen to meet in the most unlikely of places. As we talked for the very first time, I had strategically placed my vibrate-set cell phone in a place where I would be sure to feel it when the call which would never be made would never arrive.(Sax tip #345, want to get a guy's heart to grow cold, never stimulate it as he places the phone in the shirt pocket next to defective pacemaker in order to guarantee he can feel that which was to never arrive.) Well, 10 minutes of stimulating Sax conversation led to the whipping out of the ol' business card(hers of course) and lunch plans were made.
As I arrived on time, my "lunch date" got there a few minutes late and in we went to one of the more expensive sushi places in town. I had suggested this locale in order to see whether, based upon the expensive fare, it would meet with even the most fainthearted of objections, but to no avail. (Sax Guy Tip #1: Unless the room is goin to be swayin', ain't no use in payin'). So, reflecting upon the whole conversation, I thought about a list of things not to do at the first lunch, the order is based not upon priority, but the randomness of my thought process.
#1. Many of us have children that we extremely proud of, but when the phrase "when you meet my kids" is used, that's all a man will remember from the conversation. That seems presumptuous and already taking that which is not there to the next level. One sees a revolving door of men coming in and out of a kid's life that sets up too many questions. My kids are buzz saws ready to tear up anyone I meet. Are they resentful, no, overly protective-yes. They have seen their father treated badly and have made it a life mission, so long as they can or care, to guarantee that no woman will hurt dad. There is the old adage of "like me, have to like my kids," but too many temporary faces seems to add to instability. My ex likes to introduce them to Velcro man and my kids can only joke about who they term the "latest."
#2. The old "I told everyone we were having lunch," This also raises the hackles in that why do people have to know we are meeting up. What if I'm a jerk, what if I don't show, what if I want to go out with one of your friends, what if I declare this is a dutch lunch. The scenarios are endless, but the point is nerves start getting edgy when all the girls at work know about the "lunch date".
#3. Okay, so you know what I do for a living, why ask me about your own personal questions for a free opinion. Like, fer instance, asking a plastic surgeon to lunch and trying to find out how botox really works and what he/she could do for your body. Not too cool, I have a life, a little interest in that would earn more brownie points than a free session. There is that fine line to be drawn between getting to know you and mooching, learn it and stick to the edge.
#4. Don't it in a position of being able to watch ESPN Deportes and find the arm wrestling match pitting the best of the Vatican City and Antarctica interesting. There is a limit to the amount of glances at the TV to make sure that those collared men in black advance to the next round.
So this is the beginning and on the second date she was only 15 minutes late, an increase of 10% from the last time and I can only hope that by the fifth date she will be showing up on time for the seventh,
So Sez Sax....
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