The great things about parties is what lessons we learn, or refuse to learn, when you have been in a relationship with the host. For the second, mind you the second time, I have had the distinct pleasure of going to a reception/open house where a person that I had gone out with was serving as a host. The first was so embarrassing that it dredges up too many memories. What is intriguing about these situations are these women's urge to shore up the amount of attendees by inviting all past and current flings, then placing them in the same room.
With men it is very interesting, in that the whole Alpha Male theory gets played out before a group of unsuspecting witnesses. Sometimes it is almost possible to imagine the marking of territory as the jockeying for position begins. For my latest venture, I was dressed as impeccably as ever and, walking with a confidence and adrenaline that can only be enhanced with the Stones' new live version of "All Down the Line" still ringing in your ears, came unto the scene. I was lucky enough, as in my venture before this one, to have two of my good friends meet me there(easily accomplished by the presence of free wine and food). What was of interest is that I slipped in unnoticed and was able to strategically position myself to observe the play unfold.
I know this guy saw me, because he got anxious right away(of course), but she had no clue what was going on. I was able to observe her introduce him to all. Also, he was the follower and had fully taken the role of the "she is with me" guy. As an independent observer to this scenario, I got that feeling of why am I wasting my time here. The key in those situations is knowing yourself, when to leave. The one thing just as bad as a repeater is the lingerer. You all know him, the guy at the party who is in the corner violating every protocol by staying too long. Well, that was the cue that it is my time to move on. After five minutes of being there, those little inner voices were screaming "run away." You've spent hours listening to this person's issues and heard her cry, but now are questioning what you have been doing. Well the answer is easy, it is time to move on.
From some of the comments on the post, it seems that there are many people who sell themselves short and settle just for the sake of company. These are people who are talented in their respective fields, have a great sense of humor and have led interesting lives. We are willing to overlook every sign that the person has some serious issues, willing to put up with B.S. we don't deserve, and then wonder why it did not work out when the facade crumbles.
So, be positive about yourself and consider what an awesome individual you are. Do not take on any one else's issues on as your own, and consider the source when they disappoint you, which they will,
So Sez Sax....
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Passion Noise Source Identified
For the past couple of weeks, the entire neighborhood has been bombarded by the sound of cats engaging in love-making. I am all for nature taking it's course. but when it interferes with my ability to get beauty rest, the line is drawn in the sand.
After baiting several traps with female cat decoys scented with my favorite cologne, I was finally able to catch the stud who was fertilizing the 'hood. So, we decided to head on over and capture the special moment with those camera wizards at the local Super Wal-Mart. It is quite obvious as to what makes him attractive to the opposite ilk.
Before setting him back into the love alleys, I gave him a stern lecture on the benefits of bringing wine, chocolates, and roses to every encounter , I now am resting comfortably knowing that these vixens are being appropriately feted before submitting to their mate's will,
So Sez Sax....
(no animals were harmed in the making of this blog)
Finding Love With a Little Help From My Friends...and Family
"The Myth of Love, like some new best friend, bright promise of tomorrow, and tomorrow without end..." Georgia Satellites...
Is this ever elusive concept attainable, do we really understand this emotion? Even I in the past have confused this concept with lust, have made the mistake of considering the lack of by a partner a direct reflection on me, and have vowed to renounce the love quest and adopt hedonism because of frustration. (Sax tip, questing for love never works, the universe guides your partner to you, kinda like that Holy Grail thang). We have developed and categorized love into different levels and types, far too many to go into in blog land. But when you look into the eyes of a child and are able to observe the pure unadulterated, unconditional love as you put them to bed at night, it is an incredible emotion. When you have a problem, and, no matter how foolish, blind, and/or reckless you have been, when you see/hear the care and concern about the predicament from a friend as they try to console you or set you straight, it is an incredible feeling.
Friends and family accept us for who we are. Family is pretty much stuck with you, to a degree and true friends develop a loyalty. However, wouldn't it be nice to have the same type of commitment, get the same types of looks, from one we loved on a different plane. How nice it would be to walk with a partner and catch a glimpse that for one moment tells you, that, at that instant, there is no other place in the universe they would rather be than by your side. The look that has nothing to do with status, money or materialism. Friendships and relationships will always have their pitfalls. There will never be a friend who does not disappoint you nor a lover who will not anger you. But how people grow from these instances will always depend on the strength of ties that bind. I have been blessed with amazing friends and family who are all living life to the fullest while struggling with its realities.
So, why should we not require from a partner the same type of commitment, respect, love and understanding, that we come to expect and seem to demand from our friends and family? Some let people treat them like dirt and put up with B.S. which are greater transgressions than you have broken up friendships over.
Either we can consider love a myth which is just a clarion call, as penned by Dan and Rick, or we can open our hearts to that person who will treat us how we deserve and catch that glimpse that we have only dreamt,
So Sez Sax....
Is this ever elusive concept attainable, do we really understand this emotion? Even I in the past have confused this concept with lust, have made the mistake of considering the lack of by a partner a direct reflection on me, and have vowed to renounce the love quest and adopt hedonism because of frustration. (Sax tip, questing for love never works, the universe guides your partner to you, kinda like that Holy Grail thang). We have developed and categorized love into different levels and types, far too many to go into in blog land. But when you look into the eyes of a child and are able to observe the pure unadulterated, unconditional love as you put them to bed at night, it is an incredible emotion. When you have a problem, and, no matter how foolish, blind, and/or reckless you have been, when you see/hear the care and concern about the predicament from a friend as they try to console you or set you straight, it is an incredible feeling.
Friends and family accept us for who we are. Family is pretty much stuck with you, to a degree and true friends develop a loyalty. However, wouldn't it be nice to have the same type of commitment, get the same types of looks, from one we loved on a different plane. How nice it would be to walk with a partner and catch a glimpse that for one moment tells you, that, at that instant, there is no other place in the universe they would rather be than by your side. The look that has nothing to do with status, money or materialism. Friendships and relationships will always have their pitfalls. There will never be a friend who does not disappoint you nor a lover who will not anger you. But how people grow from these instances will always depend on the strength of ties that bind. I have been blessed with amazing friends and family who are all living life to the fullest while struggling with its realities.
So, why should we not require from a partner the same type of commitment, respect, love and understanding, that we come to expect and seem to demand from our friends and family? Some let people treat them like dirt and put up with B.S. which are greater transgressions than you have broken up friendships over.
Either we can consider love a myth which is just a clarion call, as penned by Dan and Rick, or we can open our hearts to that person who will treat us how we deserve and catch that glimpse that we have only dreamt,
So Sez Sax....
Saturday, April 26, 2008
INTERPOL IMPOSTER ALERT!!!!
It has come to my attention that an impostor has been luring women into parks in Queensland, Australia, only to pass himself off as yours truly. The wannabe groped this unwitting woman right after this photo was taken. I was contacted by Interpol but was able to provide a verifiable alibi, so no charges will be filed. From the lack of lips and small sized tennis shoes, I believe it is my cousin Ernie , a ne'er do well who is unemployed, has an affinity for over sized scarfs and is usually found in public parks because that is where he resides.
Babes, do not be fooled!! Unlike most men, I will respect you for who you are and not for what you can provide. I don't require you to wear a disguise, because I don't, (a french maid costume, maybe, but not a disguise), and the only wood around would be burning in my fireplace,
So Sez Sax....
Thursday, April 24, 2008
He Loves you, Right, Right, Right...
Glad I wasn't penning the Fab Four's lyrics or they would still be stuck in Liverpool waiting for the resurgence of punk. However, as people enter into relationships with the perennial "user loser", the last thing they need is the I told you so's from their friends. Being the other woman is never an easy thing and the "he is breaking up with her" line is so predictable that even Hollywood land over uses it as a transitional filler.
So, what is it about us that makes us hang on to toxic relationships. We have friends who are the other woman, love the addict who won't give up the pipe, alcoholic who chooses the company of semi-homeless on the next bar stool over you, the person who is too busy to call, the let's get together tomorrow promise breaker, or people who have a general disregard for the feeling, s thoughts and wants of another. Honesty in relationships is cherished and a virtue, but the first person we really need to be up front with is ourselves. We have a basic understanding, at an almost subconscious level, if we are getting ready to tread on quicksand. In all my life it was not until last year that I actually listened to what my soul was yelling. It is not that I did not hear it, but more like I was not worthy of the door of happiness it was trying to open.
When you are in a particular setting and aware of all going on, and your first instinctive thought upon seeing a hot attractive individual is negative. Go with the heart's flow, because it is what will hurt in the long run. We all slip and fall back into bad habits and comfortable ways, but when our friends are trying to protect, unless they are all psychotic,(Sax hint: surrounded by certifiably crazy friends with a DSM-IV diagnosis is not a good thang),listen to them.
We all know what is best, but everyone puts on the blinders and has a myopic outlook on life we think he/she loves me. The ass is not worth you pain and suffering. They hurt you at your most vulnerable, make you feel that you are not attractive and dangle that yarn of hope whenever they can So, when we are in times of trouble, draw up the friend circle, learn to love yourself,and cut yourself some slack. There is so much out there...
So Sez Sax.....
So, what is it about us that makes us hang on to toxic relationships. We have friends who are the other woman, love the addict who won't give up the pipe, alcoholic who chooses the company of semi-homeless on the next bar stool over you, the person who is too busy to call, the let's get together tomorrow promise breaker, or people who have a general disregard for the feeling, s thoughts and wants of another. Honesty in relationships is cherished and a virtue, but the first person we really need to be up front with is ourselves. We have a basic understanding, at an almost subconscious level, if we are getting ready to tread on quicksand. In all my life it was not until last year that I actually listened to what my soul was yelling. It is not that I did not hear it, but more like I was not worthy of the door of happiness it was trying to open.
When you are in a particular setting and aware of all going on, and your first instinctive thought upon seeing a hot attractive individual is negative. Go with the heart's flow, because it is what will hurt in the long run. We all slip and fall back into bad habits and comfortable ways, but when our friends are trying to protect, unless they are all psychotic,(Sax hint: surrounded by certifiably crazy friends with a DSM-IV diagnosis is not a good thang),listen to them.
We all know what is best, but everyone puts on the blinders and has a myopic outlook on life we think he/she loves me. The ass is not worth you pain and suffering. They hurt you at your most vulnerable, make you feel that you are not attractive and dangle that yarn of hope whenever they can So, when we are in times of trouble, draw up the friend circle, learn to love yourself,and cut yourself some slack. There is so much out there...
So Sez Sax.....
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
We're all alright, We're all alright...
Well, as one of my dear friends struggles with decisions, I came to the realization that everyone, to some degree, is out of kilter. Now, I have no idea where that expression comes from, but one can imagine that a Scotsman, skinny dipping, would be out of kilter. So, a logical extension is that we are all showing the world, to some extent, that which is most private, in a most public way. When Cheap Trick sang Surrender and as Robin Zander screams that we're all alright, he seems to be trying to convince himself that his insanity is the norm, and holy shit, he was right.
What makes us fun and interesting are all the quirks and twists which makes us individuals. As I edit out the dozens of babes yearning to be my friend, I have been fascinated as to the interesting life they have led and quite puzzled as to the availability of such incredible women. What gives with the men in their respective communities. Are they too eager to get "out of kilter" with these fine babes that they ignore the incredible beauty and accomplishments of these women. Are these men so egotistical or the ratio of male to female so great that these "duds" think they have the pick of the litter.
As I wander into relationship blog land, I am amazed as to the amount of men giving advise to women as to how to win back the guy who just treated you like garbage and dumped you into a heap. We all have our nuances, but if one really cared about another for what they added to their life, you learn to deal with quirks and enjoy that persons company. I am amazed as to people I meet that are in such shock from the last relationship that they are walking on eggshells.
Even as I get ready to roll into my king size water bed, I wonder how many gorgeous women are skimming the net because some troll had to bolster their own ego by obliterating another's self worth. So ladies, get off those keyboards and stay with me as we navigate the turbulent love water in hopes of meeting that one guy who deserves to hang with you and watch Bogie whistle at "the Kid" in "Key Largo,"
So Sez Sax......
Monday, April 21, 2008
Beauty on the Internet
Women are incredible!!! I am not saying this because my mother was one, but when I started to send out messages inviting people to join my blog, it is amazing reading the insights of people whose path I would have never crossed. As you look into some of the eyes in the photos, you wonder what loves, sadness, happiness and tragedy these souls may have experienced. The one constant throughout the messages and the profiles(except for the really over the edge Gothics that actually scared me, but who I still was tempted to invite) was hope. Everyone has their own true inner beauty which is reflected on their outside being.
We all dream and think about the world as we would want it. The realization that we are, where we are, because of all the choices we have made(very Chopraish) should not send us spiraling into madness, but help us reflect on where we want to be. If there are negative experiences, we turn these into positives as lessons learned. Spending time crying over that lost love should translate into the joy we would have brought into that person's life. Not that our role was to "cure" that person's ills, but we are there to listen and make suggestions as they went forward on their journey. If that individual abandons you because they can or have found "better," it is more of a reflection on a companionship that they have lost instead of a slam on you.
To make things right, the universe quickly sends you a signal as to who this person may have really been. This may come in the form of something they actively do, or sometimes, more importantly, that which they fail to do. Never expect people to act as you would have given a set of circumstances, you will always be disappointed. But when they fail to be decent, as that inner soul that connects us all, defines that term, it sets in as to where you really stood in that person's hierarchy of importance.
We always spend time and effort on that which is important, even more so today with our self imposed time-restrained lifestyles. Some of us are healing, so we need to reflect on ourselves to be better able to share life and love with others. Some are at a good place and the moment they stop searching out that "perfect person," he/she waltzes into their life,
So Sez Sax......
We all dream and think about the world as we would want it. The realization that we are, where we are, because of all the choices we have made(very Chopraish) should not send us spiraling into madness, but help us reflect on where we want to be. If there are negative experiences, we turn these into positives as lessons learned. Spending time crying over that lost love should translate into the joy we would have brought into that person's life. Not that our role was to "cure" that person's ills, but we are there to listen and make suggestions as they went forward on their journey. If that individual abandons you because they can or have found "better," it is more of a reflection on a companionship that they have lost instead of a slam on you.
To make things right, the universe quickly sends you a signal as to who this person may have really been. This may come in the form of something they actively do, or sometimes, more importantly, that which they fail to do. Never expect people to act as you would have given a set of circumstances, you will always be disappointed. But when they fail to be decent, as that inner soul that connects us all, defines that term, it sets in as to where you really stood in that person's hierarchy of importance.
We always spend time and effort on that which is important, even more so today with our self imposed time-restrained lifestyles. Some of us are healing, so we need to reflect on ourselves to be better able to share life and love with others. Some are at a good place and the moment they stop searching out that "perfect person," he/she waltzes into their life,
So Sez Sax......
Sunday, April 20, 2008
You had to be expecting the Cliche' Bathroom Photo-Op
We have been a little serious of late. So much drama, so much time. Thought I would break out, for all you ladies, a shot of me in the tub. Don't go too wild and make this your desktop screen saver, would hate for female productivity in the work place to take a dive due to swooning, especially during such an economic crisis, cause you know the Fed Reserve will blame me.
Cowboy, Cowboy, Sax
Could not leave the great state of Texas without wearing traditional native, clothing. Almost felt an urge to saddle me a mare while I had visions of being one of the Village People. Talk about extremes. The store manager almost sold me this fine chapeau, but I found the Judge Roy Bean noose too distracting.
Yeah he has a Serious Ass Problem, but he needs me!
My heart goes out for those who believe they have found their soul mate, only to find that Mr./Ms. Perfect has another, more powerful love. Addiction to alcohol or drugs is something that you just can't compete with. You can't ever dress nicer, make love better, look prettier, and be a more creative partner when the your opposition is an uncontrollable physical and/or psychological urge.
The problem is when you divert your life from it's normal course, and meet someone who rocks. You get to know them and they are incredible. But once the demons rear their ugly heads, If he/she truly loves you and recognizes that they have a problem, there are the resources available for most people to get out of the hole. If you are willing to deal with the repeated false promises, the relapses that will never happen again. The potential of a life altering incident, such an arrest or an accident, exists every time you leave the sanctuary of your home with this person. If you become another one of their obsessions, then it becomes dangerous for you.
So, if there is true love, if this is the person the universe has planned for you to meet, there are conditions to your happiness. These involve one making a change and committing to it. If the fool is willing to lose you over drugs or booze, they are a piece of work who needs to find their love connection at the end of a bottle or after sharing a line with another stuck in the same abyss.
People have a innate right to live as they wish, but there is no reason, other than doubts about yourself and what happiness you deserve, to jump aboard a sinking ship. Let the fool go, your job is to love, not save. It will always be their loss, though they will destroy your ego rather than admit it,
So Sez Sax......
The problem is when you divert your life from it's normal course, and meet someone who rocks. You get to know them and they are incredible. But once the demons rear their ugly heads, If he/she truly loves you and recognizes that they have a problem, there are the resources available for most people to get out of the hole. If you are willing to deal with the repeated false promises, the relapses that will never happen again. The potential of a life altering incident, such an arrest or an accident, exists every time you leave the sanctuary of your home with this person. If you become another one of their obsessions, then it becomes dangerous for you.
So, if there is true love, if this is the person the universe has planned for you to meet, there are conditions to your happiness. These involve one making a change and committing to it. If the fool is willing to lose you over drugs or booze, they are a piece of work who needs to find their love connection at the end of a bottle or after sharing a line with another stuck in the same abyss.
People have a innate right to live as they wish, but there is no reason, other than doubts about yourself and what happiness you deserve, to jump aboard a sinking ship. Let the fool go, your job is to love, not save. It will always be their loss, though they will destroy your ego rather than admit it,
So Sez Sax......
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Friends help Shine a Light
"When you're drunk in the alley, baby, with your clothes all torn And your late night friends leave you in the cold gray dawn. Just seemed too many flies on you, I just can't brush them off. " Jagger/Richards "Shine a Light" Exiles on Main Street.
Now, far it be from me to hop on the Stones bus to get some hits on my blog, but....., this is the greatest concert movies ever made. Never have I seen the boys captured and saw glimpses of what makes them great without having to be in an arena, paying $450.00 a seat to watch a big screen. The greatest Rock and Roll Band was in New Orleans in 1978. We mailed off for our $19.00 tickets, got crushed against the doors six months after Cincinnati, and watched the best band in the world after having to put up with Van Halen and the Doobie Brothers.
So with friends who leave you in an alley, who needs enemies?? Well, it is time to reflect on how blessed we are in our lives to have people who really care. For a sec., really consider those who have been there through thick and thin. Every time the waters start rocking, I have to consider the great men and women I have met who I can rely on when the shit hits the fan. Troubled waters faced your writer this week(not female related, of course) and with the press of a button, I had people from all over the country calling me to tell me all was cool. When you have a person or two who feel their destiny is to make you miserable, humiliate you, gossip about you, for the reason which escape you, it is always good to remember those folks who have your back.
Also telling is when there is something happening which will impact the rest of your life, people who you think care know about it, and they don't even bother asking, sends that clear sign that you misjudged who that person may be. As a wise sage once told me, people place their time and energy into those things that are important to them. You may be disappointed in folks for not taking steps or making the calls that you would have done, but do not project yourself and your level of caring on others. If we will be disappointed whenever someone does not do what would in similar circumstances, we would spend too much time in the dumps.
So, when you don't get that pat or call to see how things went, chalk it up where you rate on that person's People of Importance Meter Projector(PIMP) and let it or them go. Barring something that is understandable, a simple I got busy may not cut it.We are all busy, but never so much so, in this day and age, for not sending a text saying u. ok, to someone we love,
So Sez Sax...
Now, far it be from me to hop on the Stones bus to get some hits on my blog, but....., this is the greatest concert movies ever made. Never have I seen the boys captured and saw glimpses of what makes them great without having to be in an arena, paying $450.00 a seat to watch a big screen. The greatest Rock and Roll Band was in New Orleans in 1978. We mailed off for our $19.00 tickets, got crushed against the doors six months after Cincinnati, and watched the best band in the world after having to put up with Van Halen and the Doobie Brothers.
So with friends who leave you in an alley, who needs enemies?? Well, it is time to reflect on how blessed we are in our lives to have people who really care. For a sec., really consider those who have been there through thick and thin. Every time the waters start rocking, I have to consider the great men and women I have met who I can rely on when the shit hits the fan. Troubled waters faced your writer this week(not female related, of course) and with the press of a button, I had people from all over the country calling me to tell me all was cool. When you have a person or two who feel their destiny is to make you miserable, humiliate you, gossip about you, for the reason which escape you, it is always good to remember those folks who have your back.
Also telling is when there is something happening which will impact the rest of your life, people who you think care know about it, and they don't even bother asking, sends that clear sign that you misjudged who that person may be. As a wise sage once told me, people place their time and energy into those things that are important to them. You may be disappointed in folks for not taking steps or making the calls that you would have done, but do not project yourself and your level of caring on others. If we will be disappointed whenever someone does not do what would in similar circumstances, we would spend too much time in the dumps.
So, when you don't get that pat or call to see how things went, chalk it up where you rate on that person's People of Importance Meter Projector(PIMP) and let it or them go. Barring something that is understandable, a simple I got busy may not cut it.We are all busy, but never so much so, in this day and age, for not sending a text saying u. ok, to someone we love,
So Sez Sax...
Remember the ummm, ahhhh...
Well, after riding the waves, nothing like a bit of Americana to make one appreciate the past. Tried getting one of those coon skin caps but did not have my size, suggested they consider adding to their stock. It was nice walking around and seeing where so many gave their lives. Texas would eventually get even for the other states not helping against Mexico by pawning off George W as a Texan and to the rest of the country.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
I Second that Emotion,
Well, the first time I heard Smokey Robinson sing this gem, I had my hackles up and was ready to hail him as the most sensitive man on earth. He was out-Saxing Sax. What a great line to use on the babes: A taste of honey is worse than none at all. Sorry woman, I would have sex with you, but I feel so emotionally attached that the potential for only one romp without true love is not worth the pain. What does that concept mean and how applicable is it to our world today? The fact is that tasting honey is a perilous adventure that should not be taken lightly. Not that I have any problems getting my own hive and have been named the honey comber. But even a master as myself gets bitten on occasion and the feeling is not that good.
People can be like bees and how they sting is telling of them as a person. Some want to go all out and drive that stinger so deep into your epidermis that you have to dig it out with a Swiss army knife. This stinger has been dipped in some Amazonian poison and they relish as you squirm in pain before them as they do the Dick Clark Death Countdown.(Sax advice to men: This is usually the psycho who is hot[you know she is crazy] you have done that cost benefit analysis where the sex is worth the pain[no, really, you know she is crazy]there may be the potential for some kinky, but not too painful freaky action[seriously, no bullshit, you know she is crazy], and there is the potential that you would lose all those who truly love you as a friend.[too late, you're screwed]. The hell this parasite will put you through coupled with the life she will leech out of you is definitely not worth the few pats on the back from de' guys for the great score. Within a week, these same buds who were singing your praises will be lamenting your demise.) These are the ones who, like the kamikaze bees they model themselves after, don't care about or consider the consequences of their actions as they rip their intestinal tract out while making mincemeat of what once was a decent person. As we have talked about before, when your gut tells you to run away, there is a pretty valid reason because those voices want self preservation and that which is only good for you. These people are selfish, use others, play games, and have an ego that makes trampling on others just they way they exist.
Then you have the ones who buzz around like an annoying pest, but have the potential, if made angry, to exert the same effort at making your life miserable as those discussed earlier. You know if you swipe at her and if there is a miss, she will heap the pox onto you that would regulate what Charlton Heston did to Yul Brynner in the Ten Commandments to child's play. The worst of these is what we have labeled as the repeaters. These are the folks that have the uncanny ability to bore you with the exact same story, tell it to you like as if this is being imparted pointless yarn is being imparted for the very first time, and then expect that same fake, idiotic smile on your face that is supposed to approve that which was not funny in the first time it singed your ears. Curses on you if you gently mention that this is the third time this information has been provided, because then you get accused of not wanting to know what is going on in their lives and being selfish.
Finally, you have the deadliest and most conniving of the group. These are the bees that look so sweet, innocent, and create the illusion of being available to the touch. They are the ones that entice you into their lair with sweet rewards, only to stick in your heart like some cheap West Indies molasses (Sorry still on that pirate sax kick). For some unknown reason, usually regulated to deep within your own psyche, they grab you and you can' let go. The problem with this genus is that you do develop an affinity and when it doesn't work out, it does hurt. They are not like the other, more vicious type in that they do not necessarily mean to rip out your heart. But sometimes we place ourselves in the position of wishing for what was not meant to be and then dealing with the consequences.
As a pup, you start chasing other tails, because you are tired of circling after your own. There is this ability because of youth, this feeling of being indestructible, and a lack of basic common sense, to take relationships on a very shallow and superficial level and pass through people's lives without thinking of the consequences of your actions. But when you get older, there is the realization that time is fleeting and moments spent in the company of one you love are to be relished. Once you gain the ability to respect that other person as an individual, give them the space they need to grow, not take on their problems as your own, and get to know them for what is in their soul and not just their cloak, the potential for the two of you are endless.
So, when you do meet that special person and there is something inside of you that is saying "wow dude-she is pretty cool and the psycho-meter is registering low", it is well worth to stop and gauge where you want this to go. Sometimes. like Smokey said, there actually may be an emotional element where having a physical relationship with this person will only stir up painful memories if this fall apart.
Remember, the adage that it is better to have love and lost, than not to have loved at all, does not necessarily translate to sex. By loving, we realize that we are alive, but just getting laid means the body parts still work,
So Sez Sax...
People can be like bees and how they sting is telling of them as a person. Some want to go all out and drive that stinger so deep into your epidermis that you have to dig it out with a Swiss army knife. This stinger has been dipped in some Amazonian poison and they relish as you squirm in pain before them as they do the Dick Clark Death Countdown.(Sax advice to men: This is usually the psycho who is hot[you know she is crazy] you have done that cost benefit analysis where the sex is worth the pain[no, really, you know she is crazy]there may be the potential for some kinky, but not too painful freaky action[seriously, no bullshit, you know she is crazy], and there is the potential that you would lose all those who truly love you as a friend.[too late, you're screwed]. The hell this parasite will put you through coupled with the life she will leech out of you is definitely not worth the few pats on the back from de' guys for the great score. Within a week, these same buds who were singing your praises will be lamenting your demise.) These are the ones who, like the kamikaze bees they model themselves after, don't care about or consider the consequences of their actions as they rip their intestinal tract out while making mincemeat of what once was a decent person. As we have talked about before, when your gut tells you to run away, there is a pretty valid reason because those voices want self preservation and that which is only good for you. These people are selfish, use others, play games, and have an ego that makes trampling on others just they way they exist.
Then you have the ones who buzz around like an annoying pest, but have the potential, if made angry, to exert the same effort at making your life miserable as those discussed earlier. You know if you swipe at her and if there is a miss, she will heap the pox onto you that would regulate what Charlton Heston did to Yul Brynner in the Ten Commandments to child's play. The worst of these is what we have labeled as the repeaters. These are the folks that have the uncanny ability to bore you with the exact same story, tell it to you like as if this is being imparted pointless yarn is being imparted for the very first time, and then expect that same fake, idiotic smile on your face that is supposed to approve that which was not funny in the first time it singed your ears. Curses on you if you gently mention that this is the third time this information has been provided, because then you get accused of not wanting to know what is going on in their lives and being selfish.
Finally, you have the deadliest and most conniving of the group. These are the bees that look so sweet, innocent, and create the illusion of being available to the touch. They are the ones that entice you into their lair with sweet rewards, only to stick in your heart like some cheap West Indies molasses (Sorry still on that pirate sax kick). For some unknown reason, usually regulated to deep within your own psyche, they grab you and you can' let go. The problem with this genus is that you do develop an affinity and when it doesn't work out, it does hurt. They are not like the other, more vicious type in that they do not necessarily mean to rip out your heart. But sometimes we place ourselves in the position of wishing for what was not meant to be and then dealing with the consequences.
As a pup, you start chasing other tails, because you are tired of circling after your own. There is this ability because of youth, this feeling of being indestructible, and a lack of basic common sense, to take relationships on a very shallow and superficial level and pass through people's lives without thinking of the consequences of your actions. But when you get older, there is the realization that time is fleeting and moments spent in the company of one you love are to be relished. Once you gain the ability to respect that other person as an individual, give them the space they need to grow, not take on their problems as your own, and get to know them for what is in their soul and not just their cloak, the potential for the two of you are endless.
So, when you do meet that special person and there is something inside of you that is saying "wow dude-she is pretty cool and the psycho-meter is registering low", it is well worth to stop and gauge where you want this to go. Sometimes. like Smokey said, there actually may be an emotional element where having a physical relationship with this person will only stir up painful memories if this fall apart.
Remember, the adage that it is better to have love and lost, than not to have loved at all, does not necessarily translate to sex. By loving, we realize that we are alive, but just getting laid means the body parts still work,
So Sez Sax...
Monday, April 14, 2008
Captain Sax Sails the Love Boat
Ever since the Pirates movie series, the babes have gone wild over us swashbuckler types. There is nothing like the rustling of paper as the trade winds scurt over my flaxen hair. Why even bother leaving the country when you can catch a ride on the Sax love gondola. There is nothing like a flotilla of hot babes sailing through the narrow straights of the San Antonio river channel as a gaggle of Roto-Rooter convention studs gather to cheer and voice their approval of my posse. So, climb aboard next time you see this love god fore' the mast and help me shiver my timber,
Se Sez Sax...
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Double thumbs up for the working class babes at Hooters. Ole', as they would say south of the border.
Little known fact about Hooters. Prerequisite to employment at this particular establishment: Must be in third year of medical/law school. Bimbos need not apply. Unless, of course, you are very hot, like to be ogled by middle aged businessman and put up with absurd, obscene comments from unattractive men who are too cheap to go to a strip joint. You would never give the time of day to most of these fools but in your quest for meager tips are forced to talk to them by some squirrely manager.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Take the Hint Dude
Once in a great while, like never before, comes a person out of the blue that completely blows you away. They are smart, creative, funny, hard working, sexy, gorgeous and talented. You love to watch them walk, the way they smile is electrifying and as you watch them exist they are sexually exciting. No, I am not talking about dropping $40,000 grand for a "date" or $4.00 on a cheap hooker. I am talking about someone who has got "it." You hit it it off, talk, and by the end of the evening find that animal magnetism where you are sucking face like Armageddon is raining outside. To top it off, all this passion is being generated in one of the best eating joints on the planet.
Was this just a dream? As the song goes, life is just like that elevator, it takes you up and brings you down. Well, for one of my friends, reality smacked him upside da head. Sometimes distance and the changing nature of a person extinguishes what flame was burning inside.
Some guys seem to have the luck of being the first great guy a woman meets after getting out of a bad relationship.(Sax advice to men: one of the first questions of Ms. Perfect is how long she is out of her last serious relationship or marriage. If the answer is less than six months and you are the first decent man she has met, it is decision time. If your plans are to just use her, you are a piece of shit and karma will catch up in the form of a new, drug resistant form of std, that will simultaneously appear on your lips, eyelids and penis. If she is clear that all she wants is sex, take her at her word, don't fall in love and drop the hammer. However, if your soul is telling you she is amazing, watch the out, traditionally, first man out of the chute is dumped once she determines that this is all going too fast, and wants to process or find herself.) If this person starts dropping hints, do not ignore them. Appreciate what you had and move on. Delete their number because you do not have it memorized anyway, file away the photos and enjoy life!!
Soooo, ladies, when you do meet this guy and realize that you do need the room to grow and process, tell him straight up. It is hard to let go of a decent guy, but keeping him on the line is not fair to either one of you. It seems that both men and women have the incredible propensity to crave the unreachable while taking for granted that which is before them. (Don't mean to get religious, but does that damn apple fable in the garden of Eden ring a bell). If your feelings are not there, just let him know. Many times when people have been close and then one slams on the brakes with both feet, there is great angst and turmoil. One of the parties feels they did or said something that changed things, feels that the person has found someone better, and take it all upon themselves. They do not feel quite as attractive as they did before, although in reality, they have not changed. Well, as I told my friend, any woman would be lucky to be with him.
As time and people pass, once in a while, someone recognizes that they have lost someone who was right. This whole theory of let's be friends after we have had sex is possible, so long as serious feelings did not develop by either of the parties. But sometimes we let people go because we are just not ready for them. Timing is the key and sometimes the stars aren't all perfectly lined up. But there is always the thought that one day, a love that could have been rekindled and the universe is ready for those two souls to meet. One cannot pin all hopes dreams on this and certainly shouldn't make decisions on this occurring. When you live your life to the fullest and how it was meant to be lived, then those who were meant to be will be attracted to you. Only when have reached that point and are truly happy, will you "stumble" on to that person who deserves you like you deserve them.
When we say to someone why didn't I meet you last year, the answer is simple, neither one of you were ready. Had you met the year before, what you now had would not have worked. Your guides and angels knew that the journey was not at that juncture. Lessons had to learned, tears had to be cried, until finally reaching the point where you needed to be. Keep the faith and you will be rewarded with sharing your life with one who deserves to call you their partner, as much as they deserve the same from you,
So Sez Sax....
Was this just a dream? As the song goes, life is just like that elevator, it takes you up and brings you down. Well, for one of my friends, reality smacked him upside da head. Sometimes distance and the changing nature of a person extinguishes what flame was burning inside.
Some guys seem to have the luck of being the first great guy a woman meets after getting out of a bad relationship.(Sax advice to men: one of the first questions of Ms. Perfect is how long she is out of her last serious relationship or marriage. If the answer is less than six months and you are the first decent man she has met, it is decision time. If your plans are to just use her, you are a piece of shit and karma will catch up in the form of a new, drug resistant form of std, that will simultaneously appear on your lips, eyelids and penis. If she is clear that all she wants is sex, take her at her word, don't fall in love and drop the hammer. However, if your soul is telling you she is amazing, watch the out, traditionally, first man out of the chute is dumped once she determines that this is all going too fast, and wants to process or find herself.) If this person starts dropping hints, do not ignore them. Appreciate what you had and move on. Delete their number because you do not have it memorized anyway, file away the photos and enjoy life!!
Soooo, ladies, when you do meet this guy and realize that you do need the room to grow and process, tell him straight up. It is hard to let go of a decent guy, but keeping him on the line is not fair to either one of you. It seems that both men and women have the incredible propensity to crave the unreachable while taking for granted that which is before them. (Don't mean to get religious, but does that damn apple fable in the garden of Eden ring a bell). If your feelings are not there, just let him know. Many times when people have been close and then one slams on the brakes with both feet, there is great angst and turmoil. One of the parties feels they did or said something that changed things, feels that the person has found someone better, and take it all upon themselves. They do not feel quite as attractive as they did before, although in reality, they have not changed. Well, as I told my friend, any woman would be lucky to be with him.
As time and people pass, once in a while, someone recognizes that they have lost someone who was right. This whole theory of let's be friends after we have had sex is possible, so long as serious feelings did not develop by either of the parties. But sometimes we let people go because we are just not ready for them. Timing is the key and sometimes the stars aren't all perfectly lined up. But there is always the thought that one day, a love that could have been rekindled and the universe is ready for those two souls to meet. One cannot pin all hopes dreams on this and certainly shouldn't make decisions on this occurring. When you live your life to the fullest and how it was meant to be lived, then those who were meant to be will be attracted to you. Only when have reached that point and are truly happy, will you "stumble" on to that person who deserves you like you deserve them.
When we say to someone why didn't I meet you last year, the answer is simple, neither one of you were ready. Had you met the year before, what you now had would not have worked. Your guides and angels knew that the journey was not at that juncture. Lessons had to learned, tears had to be cried, until finally reaching the point where you needed to be. Keep the faith and you will be rewarded with sharing your life with one who deserves to call you their partner, as much as they deserve the same from you,
So Sez Sax....
Monday, April 7, 2008
Anonymous Meets Obsessive Cyber-Dater
Well, that Babe Anonymous has reared her head once again and is snooping around the internet trying to bust her man. Let's see, you meet a guy on line and you are shocked, shocked, that he is on line. Sweety, if you have marched through all the men in your town like Sherman went through Georgia and have to rely on the internet to meet fresh meat, do you think there is a issue?
For his sake, you did the right thing, but the problems with the relationship are much deeper. Oh thee of little faith in their men, evidently did not read up on the date-nup agreement we have discussed before. What more do you expect from this guy? You also have to wonder, why is he on-line? Maybe that wife and kids he has back in Altoona is just not cutting it anymore and he has decided to sow his bytes around the country.
But the bottom line is, you are right for a willingness to lie about those facts that can be accessed at the touch of the button, is the tip of this guy's deceitful personality. What would occur when hewent out of town on business? Could you really trust this guy? Why do people have this uncanny ability to have, within their life, the best person in the world, who treats them well and then just shit on them. Are people who are nice just too readily available? Are they not playing enough games? Are they treating you better than you believe you should deserve? We have an amazing ability to project our deepest fears about a relationship.
So keep on Surfing, Snooping, and Sluething, and don't put up or trust any of these guys until they give you a damn good reason to do so,
So Sez Sax.....
For his sake, you did the right thing, but the problems with the relationship are much deeper. Oh thee of little faith in their men, evidently did not read up on the date-nup agreement we have discussed before. What more do you expect from this guy? You also have to wonder, why is he on-line? Maybe that wife and kids he has back in Altoona is just not cutting it anymore and he has decided to sow his bytes around the country.
But the bottom line is, you are right for a willingness to lie about those facts that can be accessed at the touch of the button, is the tip of this guy's deceitful personality. What would occur when hewent out of town on business? Could you really trust this guy? Why do people have this uncanny ability to have, within their life, the best person in the world, who treats them well and then just shit on them. Are people who are nice just too readily available? Are they not playing enough games? Are they treating you better than you believe you should deserve? We have an amazing ability to project our deepest fears about a relationship.
So keep on Surfing, Snooping, and Sluething, and don't put up or trust any of these guys until they give you a damn good reason to do so,
So Sez Sax.....
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Perception is not Always Reality
As we go through our daily routine, looking for that deeper meaning of life and someone to share it with, have we all became so cynical of the mating ritual that we feel the need to rip it apart before it ever has a chance to develop into something good? Or is it just self preservation that we fall back on? Have we become so paranoid of yet another failed relationship that we look for the all the possible bad in a person before ever getting to know who they really are? There are those of you who tend to form an opinion of a person because of what they have heard floating around in the dating pool rather than actually taking the time to get to know the real them.
We have all bought into, at some time or another, the gossip, rumors, and false reputation of others that are formed by the cynics who feed on the bottom of the ever shrinking dating pool about those who have been and still are successful at meeting the opposite sex.(Sometimes its tough to be Sax or a Sax protegees) Why is this? What causes rumors to become fact before the truths about a person are ever explored?
Do we really live in a society of dirt dishing, back stabbing, pathological liars, that are so lacking in their own self confidence that they feel the need to trash the reputation of anyone that poses a threat to their place in the food chain, and when one is at the top of the chain, it becomes a feeding frenzy to spread the false word about the successful.
I seem to experience this on a continuing basis. I’m not really sure why this is, or when it started. Maybe it’s the my perpetual nutmeg tan, the lure of my fixed smile, or the wave of my perfectly curled, flaxen hair. Or maybe its simply because I’m considered by the people that are lucky enough to know me as a genuinely honest, sincere, charming, fella' swimming in a sea of deception. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made my share of mistakes with the opposite sex, and I’ve paid my dues of failed relationships for whatever reasons. As perfect of a man as I may seem, and this may come as a shock to some of you vixens, I’m still human and have my fair share of faults. Sometimes being the winner in the dating game is worse than not, because I’m constantly having to defend my chivalry against the false reputation of being a “player” that precedes me.
A friend and Sax follower was out on the town with some close friends the other night, who were female of course,(He is a good student and follows Sax advice to a tee)These ladies were young and hot(page 67 of the Sax Manual, Chapter 13, entitled Young and Hot, Hold Em' or Fold Em'). He was approached by a woman that thought she knew my friend. She actually heard gossip of him rather than than knowing him, and was asked why he tended to date younger women.
First of all, what business is it of hers who people date or have as friends and second, who is she to judge him without knowing this person. These younger, hotter women were there with their significant others, not him, yet, based solely on ill mouthed words, he found himself trying to defend myself to a total stranger whose live most be so empty that she has to evidently leech of others for her personal thrills. When telling this to one of his friends at the party, she asked where did this B.S. come from? All his friends are getting tired of having to defend him to women against this misperception.
Earlier in the same night, this friend was with the current prospective possible, and after introducing her into the group, was pulled aside by another woman and told “she” was not his “type”. He took offense to this as this woman was, for all practical purposes a stranger, yet, felt self righteous enough to approach my friend based upon rumors. This winner felt like she knew what type of woman was or was not “his type,” based on what she had heard rather than taking the time to get to know him or the much hotter and smarter babe he was with and did not have the decency to even watch how this couple interacted.
There is another wonderful woman another friend met not long ago, that was so wrapped up in the gossip she was told about him that she was literally scared to death of even meeting him. She was told he nothing but a womanizing, sleep around, guiltless, “typical” man (which Sax may be but he is not). But after endless conversations getting to know one another, she came to the conclusion that was not this guy. The fact she was hearing most of the crap from the slimy head of the bottom feeders did not make it any easier, but they finally got past all that because she took the time to really get to know him for who he was. Unfortunately, nothing ever really developed between them romantically, but they remain good friends. Who knows, maybe someday, I do believe it’s all about the timing.
Anyway the point of all of this is, is this; Ladies don’t be so quick to judge the possible Mr. Perfect based on what you hear rather than what you know. Dating is all about getting to know a person and seeing if that compatibility we all seek is there or not. As I’ve said before, date just to date. Try to put all the gossip and rumors you’ve been fed aside, and take the time to really find out who we are. I’m not saying throw caution to the wind, but approach with caution and make your own conclusion about who that person really is. The truth will come out and if you find out he really is the low life scoundrel you’ve heard so much about then get rid of him and move on. No love lost. But you might be one of the lucky ones that actually find that ever elusive really good guy with all the good qualities that scare the hell out of you for all the right reasons, that you’ve always been told don’t exist in one man.
Take a chance, let the guard down just enough, to have a conversation or two and see what happens. Good looks and charm only last so long,it’s what’s inside that makes or breaks the deal. And if there’s no love connection, the worst thing that can possibly come out of it is you may gain a really good guy friend that you can complain to and seek advice from on the next toad you find yourself kissing,
So Sez Sax...
We have all bought into, at some time or another, the gossip, rumors, and false reputation of others that are formed by the cynics who feed on the bottom of the ever shrinking dating pool about those who have been and still are successful at meeting the opposite sex.(Sometimes its tough to be Sax or a Sax protegees) Why is this? What causes rumors to become fact before the truths about a person are ever explored?
Do we really live in a society of dirt dishing, back stabbing, pathological liars, that are so lacking in their own self confidence that they feel the need to trash the reputation of anyone that poses a threat to their place in the food chain, and when one is at the top of the chain, it becomes a feeding frenzy to spread the false word about the successful.
I seem to experience this on a continuing basis. I’m not really sure why this is, or when it started. Maybe it’s the my perpetual nutmeg tan, the lure of my fixed smile, or the wave of my perfectly curled, flaxen hair. Or maybe its simply because I’m considered by the people that are lucky enough to know me as a genuinely honest, sincere, charming, fella' swimming in a sea of deception. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made my share of mistakes with the opposite sex, and I’ve paid my dues of failed relationships for whatever reasons. As perfect of a man as I may seem, and this may come as a shock to some of you vixens, I’m still human and have my fair share of faults. Sometimes being the winner in the dating game is worse than not, because I’m constantly having to defend my chivalry against the false reputation of being a “player” that precedes me.
A friend and Sax follower was out on the town with some close friends the other night, who were female of course,(He is a good student and follows Sax advice to a tee)These ladies were young and hot(page 67 of the Sax Manual, Chapter 13, entitled Young and Hot, Hold Em' or Fold Em'). He was approached by a woman that thought she knew my friend. She actually heard gossip of him rather than than knowing him, and was asked why he tended to date younger women.
First of all, what business is it of hers who people date or have as friends and second, who is she to judge him without knowing this person. These younger, hotter women were there with their significant others, not him, yet, based solely on ill mouthed words, he found himself trying to defend myself to a total stranger whose live most be so empty that she has to evidently leech of others for her personal thrills. When telling this to one of his friends at the party, she asked where did this B.S. come from? All his friends are getting tired of having to defend him to women against this misperception.
Earlier in the same night, this friend was with the current prospective possible, and after introducing her into the group, was pulled aside by another woman and told “she” was not his “type”. He took offense to this as this woman was, for all practical purposes a stranger, yet, felt self righteous enough to approach my friend based upon rumors. This winner felt like she knew what type of woman was or was not “his type,” based on what she had heard rather than taking the time to get to know him or the much hotter and smarter babe he was with and did not have the decency to even watch how this couple interacted.
There is another wonderful woman another friend met not long ago, that was so wrapped up in the gossip she was told about him that she was literally scared to death of even meeting him. She was told he nothing but a womanizing, sleep around, guiltless, “typical” man (which Sax may be but he is not). But after endless conversations getting to know one another, she came to the conclusion that was not this guy. The fact she was hearing most of the crap from the slimy head of the bottom feeders did not make it any easier, but they finally got past all that because she took the time to really get to know him for who he was. Unfortunately, nothing ever really developed between them romantically, but they remain good friends. Who knows, maybe someday, I do believe it’s all about the timing.
Anyway the point of all of this is, is this; Ladies don’t be so quick to judge the possible Mr. Perfect based on what you hear rather than what you know. Dating is all about getting to know a person and seeing if that compatibility we all seek is there or not. As I’ve said before, date just to date. Try to put all the gossip and rumors you’ve been fed aside, and take the time to really find out who we are. I’m not saying throw caution to the wind, but approach with caution and make your own conclusion about who that person really is. The truth will come out and if you find out he really is the low life scoundrel you’ve heard so much about then get rid of him and move on. No love lost. But you might be one of the lucky ones that actually find that ever elusive really good guy with all the good qualities that scare the hell out of you for all the right reasons, that you’ve always been told don’t exist in one man.
Take a chance, let the guard down just enough, to have a conversation or two and see what happens. Good looks and charm only last so long,it’s what’s inside that makes or breaks the deal. And if there’s no love connection, the worst thing that can possibly come out of it is you may gain a really good guy friend that you can complain to and seek advice from on the next toad you find yourself kissing,
So Sez Sax...
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Past Wives Revisited
Well, you must be thinking, Sax must write with a lisp and he is finally going to reveal all those past lives and tell us what he has learned as the torch proclaiming him the “Loveman” of the new millennium has been handed to him. I have many secrets to unveil, but as my fellow stud Jack once proclaimed, you may want the truth, but are not yet ready for the truth.
One of my friends approached me and we talked about life after divorce. Problems arise when you are coming off the third plus marriage. What love credibility do you have left?? Zero, none, negatory. You've told several others that you cared so much about them that you were willing to make a public commitment. So, although these prior marriages may have lasted a matter of months, they are still an albatross that we have to carry with us. Why should someone believe a person that can be labeled a serial marrier.
Serial daters get a rash of criticism for their conscious action.Some are folks who know they do not want a longtime relationship but are willing to use people in the interim. But serial marries have just as hard, if not a worse time. You have actually taken the step of bringing in a church, or two, or three, along with governmental institutions into your life and relationship. As you cruise thee mall looking for young chicks so you can check out their well preserved mothers, every jeweler from where you have purchased hardware waits in breathless anticipation for a purchase where the warranty will outlast the marriage.
Could anyone enjoy the ritual so much that they are just not thinking about what they are doing? The answer, I believes is much deeper than we are willing to delve. Imagine meeting someone who is incredible, that for the first time in your life, you had determined by the end of your first meeting that they were not crazy. We all have baggage, but you realize that this woman's or man's need not be resolved by heavy doses of medication or years of therapy. he jokes, you actually laugh, he listens, while you cry, he comforts when you need to be held. yet you sense that there is something else, things are not right in Denmark. The first thought is that they are married or gay. You figure the potential life long friend should not be passed up, and they will leave their mate for you.
But as he looks down, then says those dreadful words, "I really like you, but there is something you need to know." Your heart stops as you anticipate the worst. I have been married before he says and you can deal with this, we have all had relationships that don't work. But when he reveals that the number of priors is three, we then treat this now not so wonderful person as a leper. We think, how could they make that many mistakes, why did those other women leave him, does he understand the concept of love.
The key is that one day someone will understand this person for who they are, not what they have done. We have no idea what others have experienced and even Sax remembers a time long ago when a beautiful woman made the same revelation of two marriages by the time she was 21. Maybe it was Karma, but I felt these same feeling towards that woman that I have heard expressed towards my friend. Had Sax given her the benefit of the doubt and not been so blinded by his own, you may not be reading this blog today. however he didn't and she ended up being a incredibly successful in her field. It is what it is...
So, when you run into this situation listen and get to know the person if that voice inside of you is not screaming to get the hell out. A red flag is a matter of perspective and we all carry our United Nations worth in our back pocket. People do change and grow. That person may not be the same one who took those vows in the past, metamorphosis and growth is possible.
If they have been stagnant, run away, but do so only after really listening or you, may miss the Love Train all together,
So Sez Sax...
One of my friends approached me and we talked about life after divorce. Problems arise when you are coming off the third plus marriage. What love credibility do you have left?? Zero, none, negatory. You've told several others that you cared so much about them that you were willing to make a public commitment. So, although these prior marriages may have lasted a matter of months, they are still an albatross that we have to carry with us. Why should someone believe a person that can be labeled a serial marrier.
Serial daters get a rash of criticism for their conscious action.Some are folks who know they do not want a longtime relationship but are willing to use people in the interim. But serial marries have just as hard, if not a worse time. You have actually taken the step of bringing in a church, or two, or three, along with governmental institutions into your life and relationship. As you cruise thee mall looking for young chicks so you can check out their well preserved mothers, every jeweler from where you have purchased hardware waits in breathless anticipation for a purchase where the warranty will outlast the marriage.
Could anyone enjoy the ritual so much that they are just not thinking about what they are doing? The answer, I believes is much deeper than we are willing to delve. Imagine meeting someone who is incredible, that for the first time in your life, you had determined by the end of your first meeting that they were not crazy. We all have baggage, but you realize that this woman's or man's need not be resolved by heavy doses of medication or years of therapy. he jokes, you actually laugh, he listens, while you cry, he comforts when you need to be held. yet you sense that there is something else, things are not right in Denmark. The first thought is that they are married or gay. You figure the potential life long friend should not be passed up, and they will leave their mate for you.
But as he looks down, then says those dreadful words, "I really like you, but there is something you need to know." Your heart stops as you anticipate the worst. I have been married before he says and you can deal with this, we have all had relationships that don't work. But when he reveals that the number of priors is three, we then treat this now not so wonderful person as a leper. We think, how could they make that many mistakes, why did those other women leave him, does he understand the concept of love.
The key is that one day someone will understand this person for who they are, not what they have done. We have no idea what others have experienced and even Sax remembers a time long ago when a beautiful woman made the same revelation of two marriages by the time she was 21. Maybe it was Karma, but I felt these same feeling towards that woman that I have heard expressed towards my friend. Had Sax given her the benefit of the doubt and not been so blinded by his own, you may not be reading this blog today. however he didn't and she ended up being a incredibly successful in her field. It is what it is...
So, when you run into this situation listen and get to know the person if that voice inside of you is not screaming to get the hell out. A red flag is a matter of perspective and we all carry our United Nations worth in our back pocket. People do change and grow. That person may not be the same one who took those vows in the past, metamorphosis and growth is possible.
If they have been stagnant, run away, but do so only after really listening or you, may miss the Love Train all together,
So Sez Sax...
The Challenge of the Female Excalibur
As we embark on our journey of sexual awakening, let us reflect on what men want. Being a Man’s Man(one quick click over to myspace and you will be able to view a fraction of the mares in my pasture), I have an innate ability to sense what men, really desire.
There are those of you who are Cosmophiles. Cosmophiles are everywhere, yearning for info from some New York anorexic on what is fashionable while a real women looks nothing like those draped skeletons. Yeah, you know who you are!!! You’re the one at Barnes and Noble with the perfumed stained fingertips which has oozed from those smelly, caddy ads, seeking out free advice from another female who, if they had so much time to write such a long article about sex, is not engaging in enough of the same. Or you’re the one holding up the check out line with 40 items in the Wallymart 20 or less “express” lane, while your diaper-rash infected five year old looks at me wondering if this male is it’s father.
The problem is the how sexually challenging he thinks you are, not how you can flip his switch. One of my readers has the key that has made her the most sought out women in her community. Put the word out that you have never had an orgasm. Who cares if it is true or not. Once that gauntlet is thrown down, you will have men flocking from everywhere to face the challenge of extracting an orgasm from this stone. Like the knights of yore, they will toil and strain, every sinewy muscle twitching until they cannot hold it any longer and collapse, like a rag doll, failing, in their minds, to take you where no man has taken you before.
You will have those who try other approaches, sneak up to you with cunnilingus or, forbid, try to stimulate that one place where man or beast should not go, especially when your last meal was Taco Bell. Once again, these suitors will either develop TMJ, facial cramps, or sent back to their blow dolls to reassert their manhood. After they have failed, you know they brag as to how they rode you like a pony until you begged for mercy or that the scratch marks on their backs are battle scars and evidence of your climatic moment. In the recesses of their black hearts, they will always know that they have failed and will always feel less of a man.
But, if this ass is the kind who just wants to climb Everest because it’s there, you don’t want him around anyway. You want to meet that guy who knows what makes you tick and cares about what really turns you on in life rather just between the sheets. The kind that listens to your concerns, is honest with his opinion, yet actually likes you for what is in your soul, not just for the wrapping. The guy who seems to have most of his act together and “gets” he ever elusive “it.”
Women seem to put up with way too much shit from assholes. But when the schmuck leaves or with the last shred of self-respect, you muster up the guts to walk out on him, what have you really lost? That idiot who had affairs with other women who put up with his BS because of their own lack of self worth. The drunk with the “frat” boy mentality who would spend what little precious time you could carve out together with some lifeless idiots at a bar. Do you really miss the guy whose own ego was so screwed up that his sole focus in life was his woman, until his obsession and possessiveness drove away all those who loved and cared about you. Or that stud who got some sadistic thrill out of putting you down because he could. Of course, some of you are unlucky to have met all of the above wrapped up in a great looking, but psychotic package.
Are the minimal amount of good times, the potential of the relationship from what you imagined [not who this guy really was], and this physical attraction that blinds us all (except those people who are close to us and see through his cloaking device), really worth the heartache, the depression and self-flagellation (Not that there is anything wrong with a little spanking every now and then, but not too hard!!).
HELL NO!!!!!
So take stock and learn to appreciate yourself for the incredible gift you are to this world. Start thinking of the type of person who truly deserves you and what you want out of a relationship. ( Sax tip: Do not search out anyone, since when we go looking, we have a tendency to place attributes we want on someone who does not have them because of something else we like about them.) Just like the fable of the sword in the stone, someone will appear when you least expect. Your soul and your angels will send you the sign and you will have that inner sense, that finally my quest is over,…maybe..
So Sez Sax….
There are those of you who are Cosmophiles. Cosmophiles are everywhere, yearning for info from some New York anorexic on what is fashionable while a real women looks nothing like those draped skeletons. Yeah, you know who you are!!! You’re the one at Barnes and Noble with the perfumed stained fingertips which has oozed from those smelly, caddy ads, seeking out free advice from another female who, if they had so much time to write such a long article about sex, is not engaging in enough of the same. Or you’re the one holding up the check out line with 40 items in the Wallymart 20 or less “express” lane, while your diaper-rash infected five year old looks at me wondering if this male is it’s father.
The problem is the how sexually challenging he thinks you are, not how you can flip his switch. One of my readers has the key that has made her the most sought out women in her community. Put the word out that you have never had an orgasm. Who cares if it is true or not. Once that gauntlet is thrown down, you will have men flocking from everywhere to face the challenge of extracting an orgasm from this stone. Like the knights of yore, they will toil and strain, every sinewy muscle twitching until they cannot hold it any longer and collapse, like a rag doll, failing, in their minds, to take you where no man has taken you before.
You will have those who try other approaches, sneak up to you with cunnilingus or, forbid, try to stimulate that one place where man or beast should not go, especially when your last meal was Taco Bell. Once again, these suitors will either develop TMJ, facial cramps, or sent back to their blow dolls to reassert their manhood. After they have failed, you know they brag as to how they rode you like a pony until you begged for mercy or that the scratch marks on their backs are battle scars and evidence of your climatic moment. In the recesses of their black hearts, they will always know that they have failed and will always feel less of a man.
But, if this ass is the kind who just wants to climb Everest because it’s there, you don’t want him around anyway. You want to meet that guy who knows what makes you tick and cares about what really turns you on in life rather just between the sheets. The kind that listens to your concerns, is honest with his opinion, yet actually likes you for what is in your soul, not just for the wrapping. The guy who seems to have most of his act together and “gets” he ever elusive “it.”
Women seem to put up with way too much shit from assholes. But when the schmuck leaves or with the last shred of self-respect, you muster up the guts to walk out on him, what have you really lost? That idiot who had affairs with other women who put up with his BS because of their own lack of self worth. The drunk with the “frat” boy mentality who would spend what little precious time you could carve out together with some lifeless idiots at a bar. Do you really miss the guy whose own ego was so screwed up that his sole focus in life was his woman, until his obsession and possessiveness drove away all those who loved and cared about you. Or that stud who got some sadistic thrill out of putting you down because he could. Of course, some of you are unlucky to have met all of the above wrapped up in a great looking, but psychotic package.
Are the minimal amount of good times, the potential of the relationship from what you imagined [not who this guy really was], and this physical attraction that blinds us all (except those people who are close to us and see through his cloaking device), really worth the heartache, the depression and self-flagellation (Not that there is anything wrong with a little spanking every now and then, but not too hard!!).
HELL NO!!!!!
So take stock and learn to appreciate yourself for the incredible gift you are to this world. Start thinking of the type of person who truly deserves you and what you want out of a relationship. ( Sax tip: Do not search out anyone, since when we go looking, we have a tendency to place attributes we want on someone who does not have them because of something else we like about them.) Just like the fable of the sword in the stone, someone will appear when you least expect. Your soul and your angels will send you the sign and you will have that inner sense, that finally my quest is over,…maybe..
So Sez Sax….
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Female Friends/ Gotta Have Them
Well, I've decided to wander out of the blog world and actually have a myspace page. Now I can join all those other folks who wile away the others in internet bliss instead of living life off the keyboards.
For those who care I'm at the following address: By the way, some really cool babe named Cheri from the West Coast got it and was the first one moved to accept my invite to become a "friend." Kudos to this Babe!! For all those other 200 women who Sax tried to reach out and touch, it's never too late.
http://www.myspace.com/saxsez
(Sax advice to men, hook up with a gaggle of babes. You will realize that the guys you and the "cool" beer drinkers ridiculed as they jumped up and fondled the cheerleaders in front of 60,000 people had the right idea.)
So,keep posted you wanna be Saxes and I will slowly reveal the secrets that have made my love life a glowing and flowing success,
So Sez Sax...
For those who care I'm at the following address: By the way, some really cool babe named Cheri from the West Coast got it and was the first one moved to accept my invite to become a "friend." Kudos to this Babe!! For all those other 200 women who Sax tried to reach out and touch, it's never too late.
http://www.myspace.com/saxsez
(Sax advice to men, hook up with a gaggle of babes. You will realize that the guys you and the "cool" beer drinkers ridiculed as they jumped up and fondled the cheerleaders in front of 60,000 people had the right idea.)
So,keep posted you wanna be Saxes and I will slowly reveal the secrets that have made my love life a glowing and flowing success,
So Sez Sax...
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
"Heeee's Ahhctive"
Being "active" was a good thing. Mighty Jack(who is still kickin') encouraged our parents to be active. Dr. Frankenstein encouraged his Monster to be active, We wanted our kids to be active, especially with all the fats food we force them to consume. Viagra helps you be active. (Sax doesn't know anything bout that since I don't need no help, if you know what I mean!!)
But, I have heard women banshee scream this phrase. When I first heard these words, I just figured it was some sort of STD(a.k.a. the HIV, drips, crabs, clap, droopy sailor, infected eyed swamp monster) that just comes and goes. Active stages = no sex; inactive stage= proceed with sex at your own risk and with complete faith that the man who cheated on you and got this bug, is now telling you the truth.
Come to find that in this modern age of computer dating, these words are defined in women to English, English to women dictionaries as "stud on the prowl, he is the midnight rambler, busting through your firewall." Herein lies the rub, Internet sites work for many people, but why do they have to snitch you off by showing the world that you are still looking. What is the point!!! Silence and the thin manly line as been, for centuries, a reliable means of making sure confidentiality was respected while the perennial pole was still in the water.
Trouble is created every time you wander onto the site just to check it out. What if that hateful co-worker who hates your guts and wants to use your woman to get even hacks into your machine. Will you believe your man when he says that your the only one for him when he has been active.
But wait, why should you mate even care. Why does the threat of some unseen, unknown woman strike at your her core. For crying out loud, ladies this is how you met and you didn't have any problems with snatching him up. Will you refuse to believe his words because of the pulsating number 24 precedes the word active. Those red numbers, are like embers burned into your mind add to all the other obsessions you have about this relationship. Think about how you sound as you cry to your friends about the fact that he is "active" and this relationship is over.
So the next time internetman says your are the only one in my life, force him to sign a dating -nup where he is required to provide you, as a specific condition of enjoying the evident pleasure of your company, with the password to his computer. Do not restrict this to home, but demand that access is granted to his work station and have a copy of his library card. Finally, make him place your email as the one to be contacted if there are any new matches for this stud.
Only then can you rest assured that your man only has LCD eyes for you,
So Sez Sax.....
But, I have heard women banshee scream this phrase. When I first heard these words, I just figured it was some sort of STD(a.k.a. the HIV, drips, crabs, clap, droopy sailor, infected eyed swamp monster) that just comes and goes. Active stages = no sex; inactive stage= proceed with sex at your own risk and with complete faith that the man who cheated on you and got this bug, is now telling you the truth.
Come to find that in this modern age of computer dating, these words are defined in women to English, English to women dictionaries as "stud on the prowl, he is the midnight rambler, busting through your firewall." Herein lies the rub, Internet sites work for many people, but why do they have to snitch you off by showing the world that you are still looking. What is the point!!! Silence and the thin manly line as been, for centuries, a reliable means of making sure confidentiality was respected while the perennial pole was still in the water.
Trouble is created every time you wander onto the site just to check it out. What if that hateful co-worker who hates your guts and wants to use your woman to get even hacks into your machine. Will you believe your man when he says that your the only one for him when he has been active.
But wait, why should you mate even care. Why does the threat of some unseen, unknown woman strike at your her core. For crying out loud, ladies this is how you met and you didn't have any problems with snatching him up. Will you refuse to believe his words because of the pulsating number 24 precedes the word active. Those red numbers, are like embers burned into your mind add to all the other obsessions you have about this relationship. Think about how you sound as you cry to your friends about the fact that he is "active" and this relationship is over.
So the next time internetman says your are the only one in my life, force him to sign a dating -nup where he is required to provide you, as a specific condition of enjoying the evident pleasure of your company, with the password to his computer. Do not restrict this to home, but demand that access is granted to his work station and have a copy of his library card. Finally, make him place your email as the one to be contacted if there are any new matches for this stud.
Only then can you rest assured that your man only has LCD eyes for you,
So Sez Sax.....
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