The realization just hit me that my latest foray into the scene has produced the result I needed. As the sweetest soul looked at me and said she was not in the same place, it dawned on me that I had found Nowhere land of Beatles lore. Now, little Saxettes, put away that sandpaper-like dollar store face tissue, because this is not a bad thing.
Sure we all pine for that idea of company in those moments of touching romance as we watch with anticipation, knowing full well Dr. Z will never be busted with Lara or wonder how the hell Rhett just carried a fighting Scarlett up that flight of stairs because he knew what she "really" wanted. After all, it would be nice to have someone who will get off the couch and get that new bag of fire hot Cheetos so you don't miss a scene of mancinema.
But at this time, the smartest move is to get back into myself and rediscover some of the magic I have tried so hard to shed. By day some have all the world relying on them for a million decisions which affects the psyche to the point that the mindless post 5:00 p.m. state into which we are drawn like the prodigal moth guides us to either fast food restaurants or food in those standardized Chinese food containers that they mass produce on Three Mile Island as a 21st century for bodily nutrition.
When we get back into a mindless routine we fail to appreciate what a poet friend has described to me as the uncertainty of the next day. Routine destroys adventure as it fosters the mundane. Without some hint of adventure, even a dip of the toe in the cold, swift-flowing river which is life, leads at the end to the questioning of our existence.
So, having decided that I need to refresh myself and kick back with the trout in one of the o tide pools along this meandering river, we are regrouping. (If sex rears it's ugly head, [way too many metaphors] I may be philosophical, but like Arthur, will take the money and run).
However, what will make me smile will center around: spending the time listening to and making music; watching from both near and afar a musical revolution that will herald the return of crotch moving music; hearing the laughter of the Dementors as we listen to their latest Penthouse letter to the editor adventure; the others who co-exist in my house that leave too frequently; getting news that a people I care about are doing okay and dealing with things on their own while are knowing I am there; that those dark spirits in my life have to wake in the same ever expanding epidermal shell and be with themselves every last day of their life. Let's just enjoy life,
So Sez Sax...
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Sax the Weatherman Saves Denver
Well, I was relaxing on a beautiful Saturday during a brief visit to the Mile High City where I had been were invited to the Grand opening of an Art Gallery named in my Honor. Once we got there, I was disappointed that the folks who ran the gallery were not too good on their American and misspelled my name. Not to worry, Saxettes, nothing permanent marker and a black spraypaint could not cure.
As we stood there, a horrible wind blew out of the east and ruffled by head(evidently nothing horrible comes out of the west). Having watched too many hours of the Weather Channel as I channel surfed, I knew that there was trouble brewing...
(Camera fades to a Casablanca type flashback)
My father encouraged me to enter such a noble profession were you have a 50% possibility of being right. His words still reverberate in the recess of my mind ."Damn Good odds boy, can't even get those in Vegas," he would mutter, "plus chicks dig the weather guy." After being told the latter, caution was thrown to the wind and I started out to discover the inner secrets of the world's oldest profession. (Historical Little known fact that the the second oldest, prostitution, relied on the oldest profession to determine the feasibility of being able to go out and practice the second oldest.) Well, when I discovered that science classes were a prerequisite and going outdoors to do live shots in the middle of apocalyptic storms was part of the job, I decided to stay in the sanctity of my home and take notes on how the guys on the tube handled themselves. The only stint I got was a the age of 18, when I was working as a bagboy at the local supermarket and was told to stay outside once to warn the customers about the coming drenching. Mind you, this was years before cable and the WC, but I did me best, after all chicks dig the weather guy. (Afterwards, the only woman who talked to me, holding my bags, as I stood drenched on the last car to Marseilles, was my mother, who scolded me for being a fool and getting sick by standing out in the rain and lightning).
(Fade Back To Present)
So as the Denver torrential downpour was imminent and the crowds began to get restless and panicked, I noticed that one of the stations was doing a local feed from the street corner. I knocked over the bottle of cheap gin and stumbled over to assist.
Hearing the distress in Sweet Anne's Voice and startled by the catatonic state this pending disaster had produced in Mike( Rock of Gibraltar) Landess, I went into action and did my best to calm the nerves of this great American city.
Wearing an over sized, but comfortable shirt, which would pass for a flapping windbreaker on any HDTV, I positioned myself on a deserted country road at the cusp of the storm and began, in a calming Orson Wellsinian voice, to give the play by play. Feeling like Heston parting the red sea, I raised the microphone/lightning rod into the air and damned the storm back into the Gulf of Mexico from whence it came. After almost getting electrocuted when a bolt came to close, I ran back into the over-equipped weather van and continued my broadcast until it became safe outside.
So, having given notice to the front range as to where and when this beast would hit, I slept well that night(still no chicks), knowing full well countless lives and property were saved by my quick bravado in the face of such doom,So Sez Sax....
(No weathermen were injured or consulted during the writing of this blog)
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
See People for Who They Are, Not What you Imagine!!
Well, the question has been as finally asked as to why I have avoided, up to this point, the whole idea of on-line dating. A quick survey of my pictures reveal an adventurous man who is willing to fight the rapids of the San Antonio Riverwalk, do a Mexican Hat Dance at Hooters and pay his respects to fallen at the Alamo. After all, If I am all the things that I claim to be in my profile, what more would a woman want! After all, my friends have visited sites that I could not even imagine that cater to all whims, desires and walks of life.
There is the standard Match.com, which has become the epitome of the pick-up world for some of my friends; there is the eharmony, which I did try, but for some reasons was soundly rejected by all the women who looked at my profile; the not so subtle millionaire match and sugardaddy.com(guaranteed that these women who want to meet for your personality only); we have black on white; white on Asian; Asian on Latino; Native American on Columbus Day Holiday lover; Muslim on infidel, Catholics on guilt ridden; and Christian on any non-believer because they are going to hell and who wants to spend an eternity with just one person. Seriously, the list is endless.
What I have found fascinating is the amount of people who, a) are willing to join as a friend once they catch on to the profile being tongue in cheek and b) willing to share some serious thoughts and concerns with such a dapper guy. I though it was always quite the challenge to enter a dark booth with a total stranger on the other side, as you revealed all the fun you may have had in the thirty years between confessions( Had I known it only took a couple hail Mary's and on our Father to absolve a confession that could be reduced down to I haven't stolen or killed anyone, but pretty much violated all the other 8, I would have waited another ten years). But to trust a total stranger on the Internet is an absolute leap of faith. Why are some willing to do so?
As I embarked on this mission to find myself and meet new people, one of the tools I was given by Mdme. M. was to learn how to trust the voice inside of me. You know it well, the one that says get the hell out of his apartment now, leave her or she will make your life miserable, or please don't wake up until I find my underwear. That voice, the one that we have all ignored. Would it no be amazing that everyone we met we did so through a conversation first. The mind's eye could ignore that which the real eye's can't and we would stop those first impressions within nanoseconds of meeting another. That is what makes life and relationships difficult for the majority of us. We are not in our minds, "perfect." We have our perceived blemishes and beat ourselves up about our "physical faults." We are not good enough, smart enough and attractive enough.
As life has steps in and re-directs our energy into other directions, tonight I have for the first time realized that I see people like I never have before. There have been two women in my life recently that I began to believe may have actually had the potential to love me for me and not what I could do for them. In the past, it was my job or the perception of where material life would potentially lead that attracted people to me. At least three women in my past were not shy about using me to enhance their "status." While my friends implored me to walk away, my inner lack of confidence and self worth told me that I was lucky to be with them and I became involved in bad relationships, the last of which has left me in economic ruin. What the real world took from me financially, the universe gave me in abundance the love of two children that will carry me for the rest of my life. I recently celebrated another birthday, surrounded with the richness of friends and family, but once again without the love of a special person in my life(Come to think of it, have never had this).
What has changed in my life for the better is how I see people in such a different way. The most recent person who I must let got was a beautiful woman. I have been repeatedly told about her outer beauty, but I was not able to get past the person I saw inside. Like the one other who quickly entered and exited my life, for the first time I saw people for who they are. Now when I see the my ex's I see the anger, frustration and hatred they carry inside for life and how it has wronged them. At work, I see people that I have known for years and see the most intrinsic beauty in the smiles of people i took for granted for way too long. In my best friends I see the love for one they allowed into their close knit group and have felt the care and protectiveness one would normally reserve for blood relatives(Had to explain what a Dementor was the other night, not so good). There is my friend who carries alot of pain from his past, those that i have met that are a little too self centered, and others who are just trying to get by day to day.
Evidently there are people out there who see a lot more of me in my writings and have looked beyond the dollar store paper sack with the sly smile and perfect hair wave. As my latest attempt at a relationship falters, for now, I can only hope that when all is balanced in her life, she will know I will always be there to listen to her and hold her hand. Beyond her exterior, there is a decent person who does need to be isolated. Which is what I had started to do until my true friends pulled me out for one of my best birthdays ever.
So, let's take a step back and try to appreciate and see people for who they really are, don't try to rescue people but be there for them and help them heal themselves, and look for the beauty in every person, even one with an adorable permanent marker smile,
So Sez Sax...
There is the standard Match.com, which has become the epitome of the pick-up world for some of my friends; there is the eharmony, which I did try, but for some reasons was soundly rejected by all the women who looked at my profile; the not so subtle millionaire match and sugardaddy.com(guaranteed that these women who want to meet for your personality only); we have black on white; white on Asian; Asian on Latino; Native American on Columbus Day Holiday lover; Muslim on infidel, Catholics on guilt ridden; and Christian on any non-believer because they are going to hell and who wants to spend an eternity with just one person. Seriously, the list is endless.
What I have found fascinating is the amount of people who, a) are willing to join as a friend once they catch on to the profile being tongue in cheek and b) willing to share some serious thoughts and concerns with such a dapper guy. I though it was always quite the challenge to enter a dark booth with a total stranger on the other side, as you revealed all the fun you may have had in the thirty years between confessions( Had I known it only took a couple hail Mary's and on our Father to absolve a confession that could be reduced down to I haven't stolen or killed anyone, but pretty much violated all the other 8, I would have waited another ten years). But to trust a total stranger on the Internet is an absolute leap of faith. Why are some willing to do so?
As I embarked on this mission to find myself and meet new people, one of the tools I was given by Mdme. M. was to learn how to trust the voice inside of me. You know it well, the one that says get the hell out of his apartment now, leave her or she will make your life miserable, or please don't wake up until I find my underwear. That voice, the one that we have all ignored. Would it no be amazing that everyone we met we did so through a conversation first. The mind's eye could ignore that which the real eye's can't and we would stop those first impressions within nanoseconds of meeting another. That is what makes life and relationships difficult for the majority of us. We are not in our minds, "perfect." We have our perceived blemishes and beat ourselves up about our "physical faults." We are not good enough, smart enough and attractive enough.
As life has steps in and re-directs our energy into other directions, tonight I have for the first time realized that I see people like I never have before. There have been two women in my life recently that I began to believe may have actually had the potential to love me for me and not what I could do for them. In the past, it was my job or the perception of where material life would potentially lead that attracted people to me. At least three women in my past were not shy about using me to enhance their "status." While my friends implored me to walk away, my inner lack of confidence and self worth told me that I was lucky to be with them and I became involved in bad relationships, the last of which has left me in economic ruin. What the real world took from me financially, the universe gave me in abundance the love of two children that will carry me for the rest of my life. I recently celebrated another birthday, surrounded with the richness of friends and family, but once again without the love of a special person in my life(Come to think of it, have never had this).
What has changed in my life for the better is how I see people in such a different way. The most recent person who I must let got was a beautiful woman. I have been repeatedly told about her outer beauty, but I was not able to get past the person I saw inside. Like the one other who quickly entered and exited my life, for the first time I saw people for who they are. Now when I see the my ex's I see the anger, frustration and hatred they carry inside for life and how it has wronged them. At work, I see people that I have known for years and see the most intrinsic beauty in the smiles of people i took for granted for way too long. In my best friends I see the love for one they allowed into their close knit group and have felt the care and protectiveness one would normally reserve for blood relatives(Had to explain what a Dementor was the other night, not so good). There is my friend who carries alot of pain from his past, those that i have met that are a little too self centered, and others who are just trying to get by day to day.
Evidently there are people out there who see a lot more of me in my writings and have looked beyond the dollar store paper sack with the sly smile and perfect hair wave. As my latest attempt at a relationship falters, for now, I can only hope that when all is balanced in her life, she will know I will always be there to listen to her and hold her hand. Beyond her exterior, there is a decent person who does need to be isolated. Which is what I had started to do until my true friends pulled me out for one of my best birthdays ever.
So, let's take a step back and try to appreciate and see people for who they really are, don't try to rescue people but be there for them and help them heal themselves, and look for the beauty in every person, even one with an adorable permanent marker smile,
So Sez Sax...
Friday, July 11, 2008
Out Loud Musings From an Insomniac
Insomnia has enveloped your writer as I struggle to figure out the meaning of life in a world chock full of contradictions. (Hope my lack of sleep in not reflected in my citing every cliche in my repertoire). As I reflect on the changes I have made since leaving the uncomfort of my home two years ago, there comes those times when loneliness won't leave me alone. It is amazing that as we struggle with keeping our children safe, paying bills, fending off creditors and facing the stresses of modern day life, that balancing every type of relationship is what preoccupies all our waking hours. Be it at work or at home, with friends or loved ones, we are always striving to keep ourselves sane while not stirring up too many pots.
There are many times when we take that leap of faith and just hope we can come out of a situation with our self-esteem and integrity somewhat intact. That's exactly what happened tonight and although I have endured the wrath and eye-rolling of two of the three dementors(the third was incapacitated and sedated), making the phone call is sometimes worth it. Although it has been weeks since I have talked to her, there was something inside of me that propelled me to take a chance tonight. So armed with the support of Mdme. C, I decided to run the risk and leave a message. It was very simple: thinking of you and if you need me I am here.
Having had a pretty good run at life even for my tender age, it has been never since I have left this kind of message. As we see people hurting as they come out of horrible relationships, the easy way out will always be to turn our back, remind ourselves that we are not responsible for other's happiness and never dupe ourselves into thinking so. I have beat the knight in shining armor analogy like a dead horse and have no intention on masking my feelings just for the sake of remaining within the circle of trust. Why I am thinking this way cannot be explained, other than to think that for the first time in my life I may have some genuine feelings for another.
Reflecting on the night I wrestled back my self-esteem, got out of bed after being insulted for the last time and laid on a couch in the dark of my office, I took a leap of faith which I knew would lead to financial ruin and hardships for the remainder of my life. But in appreciating the benefits that have been bestowed, I am poorly rich!!
Although I had been always heavily involved in my girls lives, there was a feeling like I was the outsider. Now I see that they were treating me the only way they had been conditioned and once I began to stand, they did so right next to me. Now I look forward to the many days spent listening to them fight in between developing their taste for the Stones and classic films. Like we sometimes do for the sake of family and peace at home, I had let my relationship with my best friend die, but when I needed him, he was right there, no questions asked and no lectures. He will always be my blood brother.
All my friends who tried to talk to me out of my past relationships, but disappeared rather than watch me being mistreated have now re-surfaced. Although I have poorly characterized them by stealing from Harry Potter books (who had "borrowed" from every myth known to man and is now a billionaire), I have been blessed with a cadre of friends who I love and look forward to chasing around a convalescent home 30 years from now. Not to mention the countless people who have now touched my life who I would have never known. Sometimes you just have to lose all to find you.
After a more verbose blog than usual, the point is that although I have come to adore this person and may have developed, for a change, genuine feelings other than a mere rescuer, can't turn my back because so many did not do so when I needed them. A concern is my heart may grow colder as I try to protect myself from more sleepless nights, but that is a chance she needs to take. So, as some Saxettes suggested I have made my call, whether she follows up is now her decision. There are many more factors, that I can never explain which will probably, in her mind prevent her from returning my message, so be it. So long as she is safe, works on getting herself back, re-learns what it is like to be happy, and knows, from a 10 second message, that am there,
So Sez Sax....
There are many times when we take that leap of faith and just hope we can come out of a situation with our self-esteem and integrity somewhat intact. That's exactly what happened tonight and although I have endured the wrath and eye-rolling of two of the three dementors(the third was incapacitated and sedated), making the phone call is sometimes worth it. Although it has been weeks since I have talked to her, there was something inside of me that propelled me to take a chance tonight. So armed with the support of Mdme. C, I decided to run the risk and leave a message. It was very simple: thinking of you and if you need me I am here.
Having had a pretty good run at life even for my tender age, it has been never since I have left this kind of message. As we see people hurting as they come out of horrible relationships, the easy way out will always be to turn our back, remind ourselves that we are not responsible for other's happiness and never dupe ourselves into thinking so. I have beat the knight in shining armor analogy like a dead horse and have no intention on masking my feelings just for the sake of remaining within the circle of trust. Why I am thinking this way cannot be explained, other than to think that for the first time in my life I may have some genuine feelings for another.
Reflecting on the night I wrestled back my self-esteem, got out of bed after being insulted for the last time and laid on a couch in the dark of my office, I took a leap of faith which I knew would lead to financial ruin and hardships for the remainder of my life. But in appreciating the benefits that have been bestowed, I am poorly rich!!
Although I had been always heavily involved in my girls lives, there was a feeling like I was the outsider. Now I see that they were treating me the only way they had been conditioned and once I began to stand, they did so right next to me. Now I look forward to the many days spent listening to them fight in between developing their taste for the Stones and classic films. Like we sometimes do for the sake of family and peace at home, I had let my relationship with my best friend die, but when I needed him, he was right there, no questions asked and no lectures. He will always be my blood brother.
All my friends who tried to talk to me out of my past relationships, but disappeared rather than watch me being mistreated have now re-surfaced. Although I have poorly characterized them by stealing from Harry Potter books (who had "borrowed" from every myth known to man and is now a billionaire), I have been blessed with a cadre of friends who I love and look forward to chasing around a convalescent home 30 years from now. Not to mention the countless people who have now touched my life who I would have never known. Sometimes you just have to lose all to find you.
After a more verbose blog than usual, the point is that although I have come to adore this person and may have developed, for a change, genuine feelings other than a mere rescuer, can't turn my back because so many did not do so when I needed them. A concern is my heart may grow colder as I try to protect myself from more sleepless nights, but that is a chance she needs to take. So, as some Saxettes suggested I have made my call, whether she follows up is now her decision. There are many more factors, that I can never explain which will probably, in her mind prevent her from returning my message, so be it. So long as she is safe, works on getting herself back, re-learns what it is like to be happy, and knows, from a 10 second message, that am there,
So Sez Sax....
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Why Can't We Be Ourselves
Just looked on Yahoo today and checked out a blog on dating advice. The focus of this article was how you can tell if a woman really likes you. Do you guys really subconsciously lick the lips and touch your leg and face as you fantasize that being done by this man you just met? I was thinking that dude, who has appeared on over 2000 T.V. and radio shows, is making a killing stating the obvious and for what? So some genius who reads his trash decides that you are open to his passion fruit just because you happen to wet your chapped lips. Pray tell you display common courtesy and look at someone in the eye as you talk to them, which according to his love god is a sign of complete captivation.
As we dare enter the 21st Century, divorce and breakup rates start hitting all time records, so it is high time we re-evaluate the beginning of a relationship in order to be able to, some extent, avoid that all to familiar bitter end. After all, how many of us have bought a vehicle, be it new or used without at least driving it and abusing it on the highway. We open the hood, see that glistening clean engine, kick the tires to make sure that they stay on, and are immediately hypnotized by that new car smell that has been artificially placed there using some highly toxic ingredients. Then we ponder, consider all the pros and cons, look at our finances and make that final decision all the while being pressured by a complete stranger.
Well, if there was any formula for finding out more about your partner, I believe yours truly has stumbled unto my version of the love secret. While we all recognize the value of establishing a friendship with the other sex, we at times fail to realize that getting a good ride in the passenger seat and watch another drive the car is the key to finding out if this person is Mr./Ms. Special. Once you get over the thought of actually talking with a person without the end all is getting them in bed, it is an interesting experiment.
As I have developed some life long friendships among the tres babes that seem to constantly circulate about me like Dementors, I have come to the realization that getting to really know them has totally deterred me from even thinking of them in any carnal sense whatsoever. Mind you that they are extremely hilarious, are extremely intelligent, very beautiful, great physical shape, and the envy of other women which was evidenced by an extremely sarcastic comment directed at them as we were leaving a fine Denver establishment. (This remark was better suited for the ladies of the night, although one can kinda see the irate female's point when looking at the tight red and orange dresses and fmp's).
But as we all shared a room, I learned even more of who they really are as great people. Whenever we are in situations where the significant other is nowhere to be seen, all pretences are dropped and we all become who we really are. Pretty sad when you think about it!! Everyone is so stuck on the notion that they have to be on their best behavior to impress the current beau, they lose who they are. The comment was made we could not have had this much fun if their boyfriend was around speaks volumes on their current relationship.
Why Can't We Be Ourselves? Are We Cheating the new love out of an opportunity to meet the real us, are we really that bad, and pray tell when are we to finally throw off this mask at the ball and have Princess Charmette discover if she has bought the real goods. Why can't we ridicule ourselves before our partners over the way we snore like a sailor, sniffle as if we are blowing through W.C. Field's nose, or avoid going to the bathroom on the off chance that the new partner discovers we can emit some serious odors after a late night Taco Bell run. Have we reverted back to childhood and treat our partners the same way we acted with our Charlie Brown sounding parents and enjoy being ourselves playing with our friends in the sandbox.
I heard so many sex stories that I felt all those early trips to the Miller Road theatre to catch the last part of the skin flicks before the midnight movie were wasted. We listened to our one friend's phone vibrate and make zzzzt zzzzzt noises because of her refusal to delete her message. While our other friend prayed to the altar of Mother's Little Helper. But we laughed and relished the company of our friends with the closeness of a family.(Could have done without the flashing incident, although, now more, than ever, I could not comprehend the appeal of incest.)
Would it not be orginal to actually get to know the person you are dating. All pretenses out the door, you become good friends, and come to the realization, early on, that you are not sexually, intellectually, physically, or philosophically compatible,
So Sez Sax.....
As we dare enter the 21st Century, divorce and breakup rates start hitting all time records, so it is high time we re-evaluate the beginning of a relationship in order to be able to, some extent, avoid that all to familiar bitter end. After all, how many of us have bought a vehicle, be it new or used without at least driving it and abusing it on the highway. We open the hood, see that glistening clean engine, kick the tires to make sure that they stay on, and are immediately hypnotized by that new car smell that has been artificially placed there using some highly toxic ingredients. Then we ponder, consider all the pros and cons, look at our finances and make that final decision all the while being pressured by a complete stranger.
Well, if there was any formula for finding out more about your partner, I believe yours truly has stumbled unto my version of the love secret. While we all recognize the value of establishing a friendship with the other sex, we at times fail to realize that getting a good ride in the passenger seat and watch another drive the car is the key to finding out if this person is Mr./Ms. Special. Once you get over the thought of actually talking with a person without the end all is getting them in bed, it is an interesting experiment.
As I have developed some life long friendships among the tres babes that seem to constantly circulate about me like Dementors, I have come to the realization that getting to really know them has totally deterred me from even thinking of them in any carnal sense whatsoever. Mind you that they are extremely hilarious, are extremely intelligent, very beautiful, great physical shape, and the envy of other women which was evidenced by an extremely sarcastic comment directed at them as we were leaving a fine Denver establishment. (This remark was better suited for the ladies of the night, although one can kinda see the irate female's point when looking at the tight red and orange dresses and fmp's).
But as we all shared a room, I learned even more of who they really are as great people. Whenever we are in situations where the significant other is nowhere to be seen, all pretences are dropped and we all become who we really are. Pretty sad when you think about it!! Everyone is so stuck on the notion that they have to be on their best behavior to impress the current beau, they lose who they are. The comment was made we could not have had this much fun if their boyfriend was around speaks volumes on their current relationship.
Why Can't We Be Ourselves? Are We Cheating the new love out of an opportunity to meet the real us, are we really that bad, and pray tell when are we to finally throw off this mask at the ball and have Princess Charmette discover if she has bought the real goods. Why can't we ridicule ourselves before our partners over the way we snore like a sailor, sniffle as if we are blowing through W.C. Field's nose, or avoid going to the bathroom on the off chance that the new partner discovers we can emit some serious odors after a late night Taco Bell run. Have we reverted back to childhood and treat our partners the same way we acted with our Charlie Brown sounding parents and enjoy being ourselves playing with our friends in the sandbox.
I heard so many sex stories that I felt all those early trips to the Miller Road theatre to catch the last part of the skin flicks before the midnight movie were wasted. We listened to our one friend's phone vibrate and make zzzzt zzzzzt noises because of her refusal to delete her message. While our other friend prayed to the altar of Mother's Little Helper. But we laughed and relished the company of our friends with the closeness of a family.(Could have done without the flashing incident, although, now more, than ever, I could not comprehend the appeal of incest.)
Would it not be orginal to actually get to know the person you are dating. All pretenses out the door, you become good friends, and come to the realization, early on, that you are not sexually, intellectually, physically, or philosophically compatible,
So Sez Sax.....
Friday, July 4, 2008
Asx Sax, Question Numero Uno!
Hey, I just got question and made an attempt to answer, here it goes:
Sax,
OK here goes: I am a fairly decent,single female looking for a long term relationship. I can be mmmm how do i say...sexual in a exclusive relationship. I don't flaunt my sexuality. I believe i have more to offer then that along with that. So my question is why do men tend to head straight for the women(OK i will call them that)who flaunt sex and talk filthy? Is that really what men are looking for and if that's what they are looking for i guess i will be single for a while. I refuse to pretend to be something that i do not think is appropriate just to get a man's attention.
So what's you thoughts on this matter?I really need some help here. And if you have the time could you look at my profile and tell me a man's perspective on that as well?Thanks much...
Anonymous
You seem to already know the answer to the first question. If I may be honest, most men want a queen on their arm when they go out and a prostitute in the bedroom when they are alone.You can also flaunt your sexuality without losing your class. The minute you start pretending being someone you are not you will lose all sense of yourself. People may at times take the easy path and go for the trampy one for several reasons. Men who are not looking for a relationship would not want a woman who is confidant. Can't walk all over someone who has their shit together. Most men, even our age are still dealing with many insecurities that are easily assuaged by the dirty talker. At 40, an easy score means that, baby you still got it.
Turning to the my space page, permit me some leeway to say a couple of things in general. All our beauty radiates from within. While going through some of my hardest times while trying to hang on to a loveless marriage, my very alternative therapist suggested an exercise that I have previously blogged. Look at every woman you see and search for her inner beauty, then go back and look at your wife. Although my ex is very attractive, one week of this exercise and she did not quite look the same. You are a beautiful woman who has much to offer, just try to really believe it!
I am not psychiatrist/psychologist and whatever I say has to be taken with a Dead Sea full of salt. Knock off all the self deprecating comments. You have the guts to get up there and let it rip while 95% of the congregation hides in the pews. Music and singing are your loves, run with them, don't pull the "these kind folks are allowing non-talented pitiful me" to play with them act.
Anonymous, I have not had the pleasure of meeting you, but in looking at the comments on your photo albums, you once again put yourself down. The derogatory comments as you reference your pictures is Bullshit. But this attitude seems permeate all that you have written and even how you look in the photos. A, you are only in your 40's, my best friends are in their 50's and dress to kill. I see women and men our age everyday and always wonder "Do I look that old." When I woke up, as I gained confidence and realized that I had a whole life to live, one of the first changes after some weight loss was a whole new wardrobe. I dressed like my dad and he was double my age. It was pathetic.
Clothes do not make the man, the true person inside makes the clothes shine. My budget after the divorce was nil, but I was able to find enough sales at the right places where I did not dress like the grim reaper was around the corner. I am judging on a couple of pictures and delete me at will, but as I gained more true confidence, that feeling of self worth translated to the way I carried myself. Fake Bravado was gone, natural confidence took over.
So, as people meet me and all my actions expressed to them a person who was comfortable in their skin, that is what people would find most attractive. If I am off, I am so sorry. But I do not know you, only you and the cute man who keeps sending you the sparkling internet roses do, so do not take what I have to say to heart, these are the changes I went through and we are about the same age.
You remind me a lot of me, and I, nor anyone else has any right to say anything. Look what you have accomplished, be proud of yourself. I always slip until I realize the impact that I have had on my kids and those who really count around me. I wish I had the guts to do some of the things you have done, and I am a pew sitter but belt out the tunes much children's enjoyment.
Once I opened myself up to believing my potential was limitless, things changed. You are too good a soul with a beautiful smile and the right man will walk into your life when you least expect it. Talk to your angels, just tell them not who, but what you want in a man, they know what they are doing,
So Answers, in a limited, non professional advice nor potentially litigous way,
Sax...
Sax,
OK here goes: I am a fairly decent,single female looking for a long term relationship. I can be mmmm how do i say...sexual in a exclusive relationship. I don't flaunt my sexuality. I believe i have more to offer then that along with that. So my question is why do men tend to head straight for the women(OK i will call them that)who flaunt sex and talk filthy? Is that really what men are looking for and if that's what they are looking for i guess i will be single for a while. I refuse to pretend to be something that i do not think is appropriate just to get a man's attention.
So what's you thoughts on this matter?I really need some help here. And if you have the time could you look at my profile and tell me a man's perspective on that as well?Thanks much...
Anonymous
You seem to already know the answer to the first question. If I may be honest, most men want a queen on their arm when they go out and a prostitute in the bedroom when they are alone.You can also flaunt your sexuality without losing your class. The minute you start pretending being someone you are not you will lose all sense of yourself. People may at times take the easy path and go for the trampy one for several reasons. Men who are not looking for a relationship would not want a woman who is confidant. Can't walk all over someone who has their shit together. Most men, even our age are still dealing with many insecurities that are easily assuaged by the dirty talker. At 40, an easy score means that, baby you still got it.
Turning to the my space page, permit me some leeway to say a couple of things in general. All our beauty radiates from within. While going through some of my hardest times while trying to hang on to a loveless marriage, my very alternative therapist suggested an exercise that I have previously blogged. Look at every woman you see and search for her inner beauty, then go back and look at your wife. Although my ex is very attractive, one week of this exercise and she did not quite look the same. You are a beautiful woman who has much to offer, just try to really believe it!
I am not psychiatrist/psychologist and whatever I say has to be taken with a Dead Sea full of salt. Knock off all the self deprecating comments. You have the guts to get up there and let it rip while 95% of the congregation hides in the pews. Music and singing are your loves, run with them, don't pull the "these kind folks are allowing non-talented pitiful me" to play with them act.
Anonymous, I have not had the pleasure of meeting you, but in looking at the comments on your photo albums, you once again put yourself down. The derogatory comments as you reference your pictures is Bullshit. But this attitude seems permeate all that you have written and even how you look in the photos. A, you are only in your 40's, my best friends are in their 50's and dress to kill. I see women and men our age everyday and always wonder "Do I look that old." When I woke up, as I gained confidence and realized that I had a whole life to live, one of the first changes after some weight loss was a whole new wardrobe. I dressed like my dad and he was double my age. It was pathetic.
Clothes do not make the man, the true person inside makes the clothes shine. My budget after the divorce was nil, but I was able to find enough sales at the right places where I did not dress like the grim reaper was around the corner. I am judging on a couple of pictures and delete me at will, but as I gained more true confidence, that feeling of self worth translated to the way I carried myself. Fake Bravado was gone, natural confidence took over.
So, as people meet me and all my actions expressed to them a person who was comfortable in their skin, that is what people would find most attractive. If I am off, I am so sorry. But I do not know you, only you and the cute man who keeps sending you the sparkling internet roses do, so do not take what I have to say to heart, these are the changes I went through and we are about the same age.
You remind me a lot of me, and I, nor anyone else has any right to say anything. Look what you have accomplished, be proud of yourself. I always slip until I realize the impact that I have had on my kids and those who really count around me. I wish I had the guts to do some of the things you have done, and I am a pew sitter but belt out the tunes much children's enjoyment.
Once I opened myself up to believing my potential was limitless, things changed. You are too good a soul with a beautiful smile and the right man will walk into your life when you least expect it. Talk to your angels, just tell them not who, but what you want in a man, they know what they are doing,
So Answers, in a limited, non professional advice nor potentially litigous way,
Sax...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
