Does your man pass "the test"?

When I go through my doubts about a woman, and believe me, I have had more than a few (both doubts and women), I have been using this special test that was introduced to me by a phenomenal therapist. In an effort to salvage my marriage, I sought advice from all quarters no matter how far-fetched they may have sounded. From the dashing picture, I am sure that you would be shocked to hear that my self image was such that I felt honored to be with someone. This was without even thinking they were lucky to be with me. Talking to her, who we will refer to as Mdme. M, saved my life both figuratively and literally. Her insights into the human condition were amazing and she opened doors that I busted through with relish and has led to who I am today. The Sax of yesteryear, my little double xx chromosome readers, was less than a third of the bag you see today!!! We will learn more about her in blogs to come.

This is what I learned about myself and should apply equally as well to many of you.

Have you ever been on that uneven playing field where one person had all the power in a relationship, while you felt like a drone there to serve the queen bee and die. I relinquished my being and self worth to someone else. When we first met, in listening and believing her life story, I was a rescuer, that knight in shining armor coming to her "Emotional Rescue". Sorry Mick and Keith, in my opinion that song was not worthy of you, just as the concept itself sucks!! Like the guy who jumps into the ocean to save the crazy person, the first thing they will do is pull you under to save their own hide. Their goal is to paddle to shore using your floating corpse. But, I accept responsibility for jumping and drowning is my own fault. But once you get out, the true friends in your life will be there to revive your butt, once again. The universe had its purpose for putting me with this person and I have the most beautiful children with whom to share life's adventure. We are, where we are, because that is where we are meant to be.

Your have is to deal with your own issues, not take on another's. This does not mean that you are not there to listen and offer advice. Only that person can resolve what is going on in their own life and receive their own inner peace. It is sad when you meet a person who is so amazing, you can see who there are, but some ass has destroyed their self worth and self esteem, sucked the life out of them, and will still not let them go through constant manipulation.

It is not that I am stupid, but have done many stupid things. Everyone has. I just happened to marry mine. Sax tip, if you meet a man/woman and within the first 30 minutes have formed the conclusion that they are crazy, nothing but bad news, don't date/marry them. THIS IS NOT A GOOD SIGN!!! Their looks, the lure of incredible sex, and a pathetic life story(which is probably embellished) are not worth the psychological torture that will be endured during the relationship and the resulting break-up/divorce, until, of course, they leech on to another.

So, if the road is rocky, "you can't sleep, can't eat, there's no doubt, you're in deep," shit that is, not "addicted to love." Perform this simple test. BUT BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF OR IT WILL BE A WASTE OF TIME AND KEEP YOU IN A BAD PLACE. So ladies, for one week straight, in every male you meet, regardless of their age, find their inner beauty. For one week out of your life, put aside just the physical aspects of a person. Look at people and see what makes this person special and beautiful from their inner light, their soul. As you work on this task, look at the person you are with. Really look at Mr./Ms. Perfect for who they are, not this false image we have created in or mind in order to justify spending way too much of our precious time in their undeserving presence.

Maybe if I had looked at the women I married this way and been honest with myself, I wouldn't have to face the daunting prospect of explaining past mistakes if I ever meet my true soul mate. But then if they are truly my soul mate, they would understand,

So Sez Sax.....