Can she stop going out with him? Is she going to take him home 2night?

Writing of leaping off the bandwagon of the routine and taking a positive step may have manifested for one Saxette. The relationship had been ongoing for years with the negative aspects involving alcohol and drugs far outweighing anything this man brought to her life. There is always a problem when Mr. Perfect cannot hang with your friends or family because no one can stand who he is and the horrible way he treated this incredible woman

In order to keep the embers glowing, he would harass, insult and denigrate her to a point that she may have actually believed she was the person he was describing. One of the kickers was his ability to blame these lifelong problems on this woman in order to tap into the guilt she carries inside her as they relate to relationships. This whole relationship has been cyclical, whenever anyone of us judged or criticized her, she became defensive and would encourage us to evaluate our own relationships, each of which was quirky in its own way.

Recently she tried to make another break. He attempted to manipulate her when she was going out of town with her friends by a strategically timed call that included the ex-girlfriend in the background reassuring my friend that the jerk and her were out as just friends. It is an incredibly cruel human being to purposely hurt another for the sole purpose of destroying any enjoyment that the other may have in life that did not revolve around the psycho.

But she got away. Armed with advice from a friend on the my space page, we devised a plan to get out from the clutches of this creep. First and foremost was to get out of the house and keep the mind busy. An empty home is conducive to depression and obsession over he who is not worthy and filed thy cup with misery. Behold, she spent time with a friend and got to know his brother. As they talked, she realized this man who was always around, was an incredible amazing, interesting person. She saw this person for who he really is. She had a great time and kept too busy to obsess.

The following Monday, she received a text indicating that he had moved on and the jerk proclaimed that the relationship was done. My advice was for her not to answer him at all, which thankfully, she didn't. Well my little Saxettes, you know what followed. By Friday he was once a raging lunatic demanding to know what was going on and where he stood. Guys like this are very scary, because they just cannot let go and get angry over being rejected. But as I said, fate would have it, she met a man who wants to listen to what she has to say and appreciates her for her wit, intelligence and beauty. The only hope is that she realizes that she does deserve to be treated nicely, will take it day by day, and will not, repeat will not, in any shape or form sabotage this relationship based on the Groucho adage of not belonging to any club who would have her as a member.

It is not like there are times I refuse to face the facts. As a good friend once said to me, why do we refuse to listen when women tells us what they want. (Sax dating tip 2,345: Ladies, speak clearly and consistently when you have to, we are not mind readers and some have to be bluntly told. You also have a tendency to not totally close a door on the off chance you want it opened one day, which leads to mixed messages and lost sleep.) There are times when we cross paths with people for a certain reason. We may not be ready for one person because we need to learn painful lessons from another. We may also have to learn to wait for someone special because they need to deal with their life at that particular moment in time. This does not mean we become the crying rag, but are there to hold their hand or lend an ear, and offer honest advice.

What is meant to be is meant to be and we should continue to live our lives until that special person sashays or stumbles into our arms,


So Sez Sax......