Past Wives Revisited

Well, you must be thinking, Sax must write with a lisp and he is finally going to reveal all those past lives and tell us what he has learned as the torch proclaiming him the “Loveman” of the new millennium has been handed to him. I have many secrets to unveil, but as my fellow stud Jack once proclaimed, you may want the truth, but are not yet ready for the truth.

One of my friends approached me and we talked about life after divorce. Problems arise when you are coming off the third plus marriage. What love credibility do you have left?? Zero, none, negatory. You've told several others that you cared so much about them that you were willing to make a public commitment. So, although these prior marriages may have lasted a matter of months, they are still an albatross that we have to carry with us. Why should someone believe a person that can be labeled a serial marrier.

Serial daters get a rash of criticism for their conscious action.Some are folks who know they do not want a longtime relationship but are willing to use people in the interim. But serial marries have just as hard, if not a worse time. You have actually taken the step of bringing in a church, or two, or three, along with governmental institutions into your life and relationship. As you cruise thee mall looking for young chicks so you can check out their well preserved mothers, every jeweler from where you have purchased hardware waits in breathless anticipation for a purchase where the warranty will outlast the marriage.

Could anyone enjoy the ritual so much that they are just not thinking about what they are doing? The answer, I believes is much deeper than we are willing to delve. Imagine meeting someone who is incredible, that for the first time in your life, you had determined by the end of your first meeting that they were not crazy. We all have baggage, but you realize that this woman's or man's need not be resolved by heavy doses of medication or years of therapy. he jokes, you actually laugh, he listens, while you cry, he comforts when you need to be held. yet you sense that there is something else, things are not right in Denmark. The first thought is that they are married or gay. You figure the potential life long friend should not be passed up, and they will leave their mate for you.

But as he looks down, then says those dreadful words, "I really like you, but there is something you need to know." Your heart stops as you anticipate the worst. I have been married before he says and you can deal with this, we have all had relationships that don't work. But when he reveals that the number of priors is three, we then treat this now not so wonderful person as a leper. We think, how could they make that many mistakes, why did those other women leave him, does he understand the concept of love.

The key is that one day someone will understand this person for who they are, not what they have done. We have no idea what others have experienced and even Sax remembers a time long ago when a beautiful woman made the same revelation of two marriages by the time she was 21. Maybe it was Karma, but I felt these same feeling towards that woman that I have heard expressed towards my friend. Had Sax given her the benefit of the doubt and not been so blinded by his own, you may not be reading this blog today. however he didn't and she ended up being a incredibly successful in her field. It is what it is...

So, when you run into this situation listen and get to know the person if that voice inside of you is not screaming to get the hell out. A red flag is a matter of perspective and we all carry our United Nations worth in our back pocket. People do change and grow. That person may not be the same one who took those vows in the past, metamorphosis and growth is possible.

If they have been stagnant, run away, but do so only after really listening or you, may miss the Love Train all together,

So Sez Sax...