"Heeee's Ahhctive"

Being "active" was a good thing. Mighty Jack(who is still kickin') encouraged our parents to be active. Dr. Frankenstein encouraged his Monster to be active, We wanted our kids to be active, especially with all the fats food we force them to consume. Viagra helps you be active. (Sax doesn't know anything bout that since I don't need no help, if you know what I mean!!)

But, I have heard women banshee scream this phrase. When I first heard these words, I just figured it was some sort of STD(a.k.a. the HIV, drips, crabs, clap, droopy sailor, infected eyed swamp monster) that just comes and goes. Active stages = no sex; inactive stage= proceed with sex at your own risk and with complete faith that the man who cheated on you and got this bug, is now telling you the truth.

Come to find that in this modern age of computer dating, these words are defined in women to English, English to women dictionaries as "stud on the prowl, he is the midnight rambler, busting through your firewall." Herein lies the rub, Internet sites work for many people, but why do they have to snitch you off by showing the world that you are still looking. What is the point!!! Silence and the thin manly line as been, for centuries, a reliable means of making sure confidentiality was respected while the perennial pole was still in the water.

Trouble is created every time you wander onto the site just to check it out. What if that hateful co-worker who hates your guts and wants to use your woman to get even hacks into your machine. Will you believe your man when he says that your the only one for him when he has been active.

But wait, why should you mate even care. Why does the threat of some unseen, unknown woman strike at your her core. For crying out loud, ladies this is how you met and you didn't have any problems with snatching him up. Will you refuse to believe his words because of the pulsating number 24 precedes the word active. Those red numbers, are like embers burned into your mind add to all the other obsessions you have about this relationship. Think about how you sound as you cry to your friends about the fact that he is "active" and this relationship is over.

So the next time internetman says your are the only one in my life, force him to sign a dating -nup where he is required to provide you, as a specific condition of enjoying the evident pleasure of your company, with the password to his computer. Do not restrict this to home, but demand that access is granted to his work station and have a copy of his library card. Finally, make him place your email as the one to be contacted if there are any new matches for this stud.

Only then can you rest assured that your man only has LCD eyes for you,

So Sez Sax.....